Here we go, eaters - FvF is officially in print!  Right now, the column is running in the Xenia Gazette, and will probably branch out to the rest of the Times Community Newspapers' weeklies and dailies.  As not to deprive you of any juicy gossip, reviews or recipes, I'll be posting the links here each time my column runs in the paper. everybody wins!

You can checkout the intro and a recipe for Chipotle Chicken Tostadas here, and last week's bit on making stuffed burgers here.  Enjoy, and please give feedback on my new print adventures!

Here's the deal, lunchboxes - I should be welcoming a little tiny eater in about T minus two weeks.  I have a metric shitload of reviews that need written. At this point, making separate entries for each one is NOT going to happen.  So, you're going to get a lot of quick, abridged reviews, without photos.  I'd be happy to provide photos and additional commentary if you're curious about a specific place or dish - just leave something in the comments section.  Loosen up your Sans-a-Belts, here we go!

Smashburger - Dayton, Ohio (UD)
Hadn't gotten around to trying this place or Five Guys, and there was a groupon-type thing available for around $12 worth of food.  Two burgers, one order of fries and one soda was $16.  DAMN!  A bit steep for what I consider fast food.  I can't seem to recall specifics, but their menu was a little limited and confusing - and the staff had no idea what their signature sauce was.  I do specifically recall that the restaurant was filthy.  The floors were so dirty and sticky that I lost my shoe to it three times.  EW, Smashburger.  The food itself wasn't bad, but certainly wasn't impressive.  Fries were so greasy, they were transparent.  I'd choose Tank's any day, for my money.  Hell, with the experience we had, I'd probably pick Hardee's over Smashburger.  
1 out of 5 sporks! 


CJ Chan - Dayton, Ohio
Finally tried this place out for date night after hearing nothing but rave reviews.  Situated in a really odd spot, in a tiny shopping center just between the ass-end of Kettering and Walnut Hills, the place has very limited parking and seating (not to mention pulling into the lot at over 2mph can do some damage to your car).  We lucked out and gt their just before dinner rush and had a terrific meal.  Mr. FvF had sweet & sour pork and I had Mongolian beef - probably some of the best and most traditional I've ever had.  Fried pork dumplings were also excellent. Prices were right on point, service was tops and the menu is extensive and impressive.  Can't wait to go back.      
5 out of 5 sporks! 



Rootbeer Stande - Kettering, Ohio
Exactly what you'd expect from a drive-in restaurant.  The girls don't wear roller skates, but otherwise it's just as old-timey as you'd expect.  Burgers, dogs, and lots of fair-fare (corn dogs, Texas tenderloins, funnel cakes), and nothing over $5, if memory serves.  More importantly, the rootbeer is super tasty, and heavy on the sasparilla, which is just the way I like it.  My bacon cheeseburger was nice & messy, loaded with toppings, and the Mister's tenderloin was mammoth and delicious. We also split the fried pickle spears and mini corn dogs, which I highly recommend.  FYI, they only take cash.               
5 out of 5 sporks! 



Brunch Club - Dayton, Ohio
Another groupon-type deal. Hadn't been here in years, since it was The Breakfast Club.  We met another couple there for brunch and had an excellent meal.  Kind of made me wonder why I don't hear more about the place - but judging by the wait for a table, maybe it's the kind of place everyone tries to keep secret.  Mr. FvF and I were thrilled to see Chicken & Waffles on the specials board, and even more excited to see that it's on their everyday menu.  He couldn't resist ordering that, I had the meat lovers' omelette, and our brunch buds had the eggs benedict and breakfast burrito with sides of potato cakes.  Everything was spot-on.  I'm not usually a hash brown fan, but theirs were crispy, onion-y and not greasy at all - just perfect.  The omelette was fluffy and on par with my favorites from Golden Nugget.  Mr. FvF's dish was downright impressive.  The waffle was just a waffle like any other, but the super fresh, hot broasted chicken was out of this world.  The breakfast burrito was incredibly fresh-tasting for something that was covered in gravy, and I have to take someone else's word that the eggs benedict was very well done also. The service could have been better.  Our waitress was a bit slow (cutting her some slack b/c of the crowd), but incredibly clumsy and forgetful.  We had to ask for my husband's coffee three times, and she spilled water all over our table right out of the gate.   Also, when I ask for chocolate milk "with my meal," that's when I want it.  With my meal.  Few things irritate me more than letting milk sit for 5-10 minutes, getting warm while waiting for my food.  And when are eateries going to get hip to frosty glasses for milk?  Every place I order it, it's practically room temperature.  As far as price, serving sizes are commensurate with the cost.   Will definitely be heading here again.    
4 out of 5 sporks! 



McCormick & Schmick's - Beavercreek, Ohio
Sadly, this is from Restaurant week, back in July.  Pitiful, I know.  We double-dated with another couple - the boys both ordered the cashew-crusted tilapia (regular menu)and sweet potato cous cous, and the gals both ordered off the RW menu - filet florentine, cucumber salad and flourless chocolate torte.  The main dishes and cous cous were pitch-perfect, but some of the sides and salads needed a little touching up.  The vinaigrette on the cucumber salad was far too tart.  A little sweetness would have gone a long way.  The boys' cous cous was amazing and finished with Jamaican rum butter, but the risotto that came with the RW specials was, well - nothing special.  One of the dessert choices was supposed to be chocolate silk pie with bourbon creme anglaise, but had been changed to the torte with raspberry sauce. It was very good, but could have used a few fresh raspberries to balance the dense sweetness.  Service was good, despite our wait for a table when I had reservations and partied of the same size who arrived after us were seated before us.  Price points were very fair on their regular menu - most entrees between $15 and $25.  I can definitely see us dining here again, perhaps for a special occasion, outside of Restaurant Week.                
4 out of 5 sporks! 


El Toro - Huber Heights, Ohio
Ew.  I won't even go into too much detail here, because it's not worth it.  Standard Mexican-fare menu, price points are about the same no matter where you go.  I ordered something with shredded beef, which was incredibly fatty and bland.  Service was so-so.  Again, EW.  Would not go back.  Giving them one point because my co-workers swear their food was good.                                      
1 out of 5 sporks!



Blueberry Cafe - Bellbrook, Ohio
Best breakfast I've had that wasn't at my mama's house.  Excellent service, huge portions and the food was simply outstanding.  I went there because I had a hankering for French Toast, and I heard they do it right. Upon arrival, I realized that this place was truly sent to answer a pregnant girl's prayers.  On the specials?  Banana bread pudding french toast.  I almost wish I was making it up, because I want to eat it every day of my life.  I think there was unicorn blood in it.  Magical.  The leftovers - about half a slice, took more than one hand to hold, and Mr. FvF and I split the half piece for breakfast the next morning.  Two very small complaints - the goodness that oozed from my French toast got all under my potatoes and eggs, making them more sweet than savory.  Boo.  And again, with the milk.  I asked for it with my meal, and it came out 10 minutes ahead - not all that cold, and just getting warmer.  Blueberry Cafe seems to be renowned for their breakfasts, but their lunch menu also looks impressive, as do their Friday night dinner offerings.  The place is very tiny, so a wait is likely, but well worth it. They do take reservations for dinner, not sure about breakfast and lunch, though.  Price points might be considered on the higher end for breakfast and lunch, but the portions more than warrant it.
4.5 out of 5 sporks! 

                         ...looked completely different than the other side, where we were sitting.
The decor didn't necessarily match the culinary vibe, but it also didn't seem freakishly out of place, as this place is probably brimming with hipsters on any other given day.
The Mister opted for the Tilapia Tempura Tacos with avocado and mango salsa.  When asked how he felt about his meal, he replied with a muffled "This is fucking awesome!"  Good enough for me.

 Finally got a chance to put my UrbanSpoon app for Droid to great use.  Starving, and in an area of Kentucky that's only known for Dinosaur World and Stucky's, I locked in on a price point and shook my phone furiously until it provided a result that sounded good to both Mr. FvF and I. We whipped around the corner to El Mazatlan, which wasn't packed, save for a late lunch crowd.

We were greeted, seated, and had our drink orders taken right away.  They had a pretty decent looking menu, and the Mister was thrilled to see Huevos con Chorizo on the menu.  I didn't see anything out of the ordinary that really jumped out at me, so I stuck with the old standby - flautas.  I know, I know - but I'm a sucker for giant taquitos.  We had no more than each smoked a cigarette (Kentucky can be awesome!) before our orders came a'sizzlin' to the table.  As usual, I sampled Mr. FvF's and kept all of mine for myself - so I can attest that they were both really flavorful.
 Maybe Los Reyes in Kettering can find out where they get their chorizo, considering it actually tastes like something. My flautas were crispy and juice, but not greasy - plenty of well-seasoned meat and I think just a hint of melty cheese in there, too.
Beans and rice were...well, beans and rice.  I probably haven't had better, and I've certainly had worse.  Large draft beers were only $2, which was cheaper than a soda.  Yeah, I know it was just shy of 2 p.m., but I was on vacation, you Puritans.  Service was fast, friendly and we got out of there for under $20.

Mr. Fvf and I have been going out for dinner much more often than we should lately. My longer hours and more grueling days at work make for a lousy housewife, but also mean finances are fast and loose, and we can basically dine out whenever we please. So - more reviews for you, but bigger front-butts for us. Can't win'em all. One of the many Fridays that I could barely keep my eyes open long enough to look at and dismiss anything in our cupboards, we decided to check out Los Reyes. It's always been hard for us to make it to a meal there. We either completely forget about it, or get pulled in by the tractor beam of Christopher's Restaurant a few doors down. I'd heard quite a few good things and not a single bad thing about Los Reyes, so I figured it was high time to get around to it.

The hostesses were very friendly, but also very in violation of child labor laws. I would be shocked if they were a day over 13. Regardless, we were seated quickly and had our drink orders taken right away. The place was nearly packed, just as much as any other place would be on Friday evening during dinner rush. I obviously wasn't the only one that had either discovered or was hoping for a diamond in the rough.

Their menu did lack a little bit in the "entrees not involving flour tortilla" department, so I stuck with my usual suspects, the flautas (two beef, two chicken).

Mr. FvF went straight for the entree containing the most of his favorite sausage, Pollo con Chorizo.
You'll have to excuse blogger for being a total dickweed today and not letting me align or justify much of anything at all.  Due to that, I'm really tired of monkeying with this entry and I'll just give you a very forward opinion.  Wasn't impressed. My flautas didn't even come with beans or rice.  Almost everything needed more salt, or more seasoning. Must have been the blandest chorizo I've ever tasted, and I'm almost certain that they used flour tortillas for my flautas regardless of what the menu stated.  The price was right and the service was good, but the food just wasn't impressive.  It wasn't bad, but it certainly wasn't great.  We'll probably stick with our old favorites next time when it comes to Mexican food. 

 It always throws me off that at such a swank-feeling restaurant, almost every other diner you see is dressed like they got a surprise invite to dinner after a day or working in the yard.  I'd already eyeballed the menu, so my heart was set on the stuffed chicken medallions with chorizo, poblanos and queso blanco.  With all those great ingredients, it would be tough to make it taste bad - but they really knock it out of the park on this one.  The chicken was tender and juicy, stuffed with spicy goodness, coated in (I'm guessing) panko, and somehow not the slightest bit greasy.  I'm not normally a big fan of this style of cooking beans, but even they were aces, with little bits of bacon stewed in with them and a nice smoky flavor.  I had to force myself stop eating them in order to avoid ruining our romantic evening with a fart symphony.  I was also a big fan of the Skinny Margarita on their drink menu, consisting of just lime juice and tequila, with a touch of Splenda.  I love margaritas as much as the next gal, but I have two problems with them: Mexico totally spoiled me on good ones, and they're a real waste of calories when using a mix and/or triple sec.
 Mr. FvF had the Fajita Chimichanga, because one entree name isn't good enough for him, and he really likes saying "chimichanga."  I had a bite of that, and his papas. They were both good, but he agreed we'd probably both be ordering the chicken medallions next time.
The service was as close to perfect as you can get.  Our server was friendly, attentive and easy on the eyes.  It seems that Abuelo's doesn't hire ugly people, which is alright by me.  I always find it easier to digest a meal when Gollum isn't staring me down asking if I want dessert.  The price points were so right on, too.  I'm a big stickler for the dollars charged not matching the amount or quality of the food served, and it felt like we were robbing these people. My dish was around $14, while Mr's was just under $9, and copious amount of fresh, paper-thin chips with salsa for free.

I'm not sure why it never occurred to me to make chilaquiles for dinner. It's one of the easiest dishes ever if you use pre-made ingredients. Even if you make everything from scratch, it's still only about a 30 minute dish. Here's what you'll need:

You might remember me mentioning a few weeks back that we had dinner at Las Piramides and loved every second of it. Mr. FvF, especially, had a huge hard-on for the Chorizo Pollo he ordered. It's really only three basic ingredients, so I figured I'd give a whirl of recreating it in our own kitchen. Here's what you'll need (serves two, multiply as needed):

Mr. FvF and I stayed at the Barcelo Maya Palace for our honeymoon, and were super excited to try all of the different restaurants throughout the Barcelo property. The first night we ate at the buffet, which was surprisingly vast and delicious. For the rest of the week, we made reservations at the fancy-pants restaurants. Tuesday night we checked out the Brazillian steakhouse, a gluten-free/low-carb lover's dream.

For those of you who have never had the pleasure of going to a churrascaria, it's ALL about the meat. The first course typically consists of a tapas bar - cured meats, salads, small seafood, cheeses and breads. The main course is a selection of meat that have been fire-roasted, and come to your table still on the rotisserie, to be carved. Rodizio's meat selection consists of seven - yes, SEVEN meats. Green chorizo, chicken, turkey, veal, sirloin, ribeye, and pork loin. I didn't manage to get photos of everything, because they were bringing it to the table faster than we could put it away.

Also, I happened to snap a pic at just the right moment, catching the server at the table next to us serving up dessert coffees of FIRE.
So, you thought we'd be done eating after seven plates of meat? Well, you'd be wrong. All aboard the gluttony train - wooo-wooo! We're never done when there's dessert to be had. I ordered the flan, but Mr. FvF made the better decision and got chocolate mouse.

I scored a $20 gift certificate to this place from eReach Big Deals for only $10, so Mr. FvF and I treated ourselves to dinner Friday night after haircuts.

I've never had sub-par food or service at either of the Las Piramides locations (there's also one in Centerville), and this visit was no different. I talked to mister into venturing out and getting something different than a burrito. Here's the thing, eaters - when you go out for Mexican, don't go vanilla with your order and ask for a burrito or tacos. Unless you're getting real barbacoa (face meat!) in them, there's not much the kitchen can do to make those things fancy or different than you could have almost any place. Luckily, Las Piramides marks their chef's specialties with a little sombrero, so you know what the best bets are. So, the Mister went for the Chorizo Pollo - a seasoned, grilled chicken breast covered in crumbled chorizo and queso blanco.

I opted for the Enchiladas Rancheras - three corn tortillas stuffed with blended white cheese, covered in carnitas (shredded pork) and grilled peppers and onions, alongside guacamole salad and rice.

We were actually both a bit floored at how great the food was. Mr. FvF is a former Texan and is super picky about two things: barbecue and Mexican food. Even though we've had some great Mexican food at other local spots, he said this was by far the best he's had since living in San Antonio. Everything was perfectly seasoned, nothing overcooked, and the portions were somewhere between above average and big-fat-fatty. The service was tops, too. Not much of a language barrier, and the servers didn't mind answering questions about the menu, and came back to check on us often.

Also, they make a mean mojito, and had a mariachi playing some slow jamz for all of the lovers in the house. This kind of thing sometimes annoys me, but he was actually really good, and not all in your face when you're trying to eat. Mr. FvF thinks that guy gets more ass than David Lee Roth.

Next time you decide to have taco night, ditch the ground beef and seasoning packet and try something equally quick, but much tastier.

We had some leftover corn shells, an avocado, regular staples like cheese, Dei Fratelli black bean & corn salsa and black beans, and Dot's Market had their house-marinated chicken on sale for $1.99 a pound (they do this at least once a month). They breasts are huge (that's what he said!), so one can easily feed two people. I tossed one of the mesquite chicken breasts on the grill for about 8 minutes per side, shredded some cheese, sliced up an avocado and called it a day. Viola. Dinner in yo' face in about 20 minutes, with negligible prep.

Finally, a recipe! The FvF household has been in such a tizzy lately prepping for our upcoming marital bliss that coming up with new recipes hasn't been at the top of my priority list. But, Dot's Market has butterfly pork chops on sale for a song, so I wanted to come up with something different than souvlaki to use it for.

We're getting pretty excited about our trip to the Riviera Maya, too, and I figured I might try something with a little Mexican flare. I made a marinade of orange juice, olive oil and the typical things you'd find in taco seasoning and gave it a whirl. Here's what you'll need for that part:

1/2 C OJ
1/4 C olive oil
1 tbsp balsamic vinegar
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 tbsp chili powder
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp onion powder
1 tsp oregano
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
1/8 tsp cayenne
1/4 tsp cinnamon

Other stuff you'll need:
Skewers
Cherry tomatoes
Lime
Cilantro

Mix all of those together in an airtight container and set aside. Trim your chops of fat and cut into 1" cubes, toss them into the marinade, replace the top and give it a good shake. Marinate for at least 4 hours or better yet, overnight.

Once they've marinated, thread them onto skewers (don't forget to soak wood skewers for at least 20 minutes), interlacing them with cherry or grape tomatoes. Give them a little squeeze of fresh lime juice and place them on a hot grill (about 400 degrees) for about 4 minutes per side, until there's just a bit of give left to the pork. Let them cool for a moment, the squeeze a bit more lime juice on them and dust with fresh chopped cilantro.


The truth is, I wanted these to be really amazing, but they were missing something. I didn't marinate overnight like I normally do, so I think that may have taken away from the flavor. This marinade also didn't have as much oil in it as most marinades I make, so the pork dried out a bit, despite not being overcooked. I think some sort of richer, maybe dairy-based sauce to drizzle over before serving would have suited them well. If anyone has any ideas, I'm all ears!

In the end, though, I'm a sucker for grilled veggies (okay, grilled anything) and a colorful plate - so it wasn't a complete disappointment.

In a dinner pinch earlier this week, and wanting to avoid the grocery at all costs, we grabbed the Hot Head Burrito coupons that come in Reach Magazine and bellied up there for our evening meal after some shopping.

Sorry to say, there are no pictures. Frankly, I was feeling lazy and it's kind of hard to make a burrito look good. It's either all wrapped up or half-eaten. Mr. FvF opted for a spicy steak burrito with black beans, Hot Head sauce and other fixins, and I had two hard pork tacos with black beans, pico and guacamole (kid's meal - so I also got a small beverage a cookie). I've had their pork before and it's surprisingly good for a fast food joint, so I was perfectly pleased with my meal. Everything was pretty fresh, and all of the flavors were bold enough without being overpowering.

The Mister had never had a "fast food" style burrito, like the kind that Hot Head, and more notably, Chipotle serve up. So, he was a bit put off by the amount of rice that was in it. But, that's pretty much how it goes. All of that rice helps hold the burrito together and makes it the gigantic meal that it is. When I first asked him how he liked it, he said he wasn't crazy about the sauce and thought it was bitter - but later admitted he may have just gotten a bad bite and the sauce tasted better to him after a few more bites.

Big ups for having 4+ diet drink options, because Diet Pepsi is vial. I had the diet peach green tea, which was tops - but they also had Diet Mt. Dew and Diet Dr. Pepper. The staff was also super friendly and chatted us up while we were ordering, but not to the point that you wished they would shut up and just take your money, already. With the coupons, it was only about $9 for both of us to eat and be full, which somehow makes the food taste a little better. It wasn't the best fast-Mexican I've ever had, but I've certainly had much worse - at a higher price with poor service. I've never been impressed with Chipotle or Qdoba (or anything else of that ilk), so I'd just as soon go to Hot Head any day.

Ever wonder how you can get the great taste of tamales without going to Mexico, or even worse, Trader Joe's? Food vs. Face has the solution! On accident!
Last month we had some spicy breakfast sausage over at Mr. FvF's mother's and he loved the hell out of it, so I wanted to make something dinner-y with it when we got back to civilization. I figured it would be super tasty, but I never put two and two together that it's basically deconstructed tamales, without the fuss of the husk. Not hooked yet? It's Crock Pot recipe. Just set it and forget it! Wait, that's dentures. Or super glue. Whatever. You only have to do real cooking for like, 5 minutes.

Tamale Tumble
1 lb/1 roll spicy pork sausage
1 envelope taco seasoning
1 can corn w/peppers
1 can diced tomatoes w/chiles
2/3 C yellow cornmeal
1 C milk
1 egg, beaten
1 C shredded cheese

Crumble and brown sausage in a skillet and drain. No worries if it's not completely done, because it's going to cook for 6 more hours. Spray your crock with cooking spray and dump the sausage in. Add the tomatoes, corn and taco seasoning and stir well. In a small bowl, mix the milk, cornmeal and beaten egg and pour that into the crock, then give it another good stir. Cook on low for 4-6 hours, then add cheese to the top and cover for another 5 minutes so it melts.

Mr. FvF isn't a huge enchilada fan, so I wanted to come up with a similar dish that he could get into. So, I basically made some burritos, half-assed a sauce to cover them in and threw it in the oven. It wasn't a total fail, but it was really lacking in texture. So, I'm going to give you the recipe the way I plan on making it next time.

Burrito Bake
6-8 medium sized tortillas (I used low-carb whole wheat)
1 lb ground beef
1/2 yellow or white onion, diced
1/2 C black beans
1 packet taco seasoning (or make your own)
1 C salsa
1/2 C sour cream
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 cup shredded cheese (I used Sargento Artisan Mexican blend)

Preheat your oven to about 350 and brown your ground beef with the diced onion. Drain well and stir in the taco seasoning with about 1/4 cup of water, stir, then add your black beans.
While that's cooling, in a medium bowl, mix together the sour cream, soup and salsa and set aside. That sentence would be very difficult for someone with a lisp.
Assemble your burritos with the beef/bean mixture and 1/2 of the cheese and roll them up just like you're making regular old burritos - because you are.
In a baking dish (at least 9x9"), spoon out about 1/3 of the soup mixture and spread it over the bottom of the pan. Nestle your formed burritos in on top of it, cover with the remainder of the soup mixture, and top it with the remainder of the cheese.
Bake for about 20-30 minutes, or until the cheese is all melty and awesome.


When I made it (pictured above), I didn't use the beans or onion in the meat and used taco sauce instead of salsa. It was really delicious, but a bit too smooth for my liking. I'm sure, though, that means kids would eat the hell out of it because it completely lacks vegetables that way. The sauce had a great taste, though. Changing to salsa shouldn't affect the flavor, though - it would probably only add texture.

On almost any major chain restaurant menu, you can find some variation on Fiesta Chicken. Even if they're culinary dullards, it's still usually pretty good, because it seems really hard to screw up. I made some earlier last week, and it's now in my top five "tasty as they are fast" dinners. Here's what you'll need (as usual, this recipe is for two people - double up as needed)...

2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
house seasoning (salt, pepper, garlic powder)
5 tbsp ranch dressing
1 cup salsa
2 cloves crushed/minced garlic
1/2 C shredded Monterrey-Jack cheese

Warm a Dutch oven over mid-high heat and lube it up with either oil or cooking spray. Season the chicken on both sides with house seasoning and sear it for about 5 minutes on each side until it gets a nice golden brown to it. In a bowl, mix together the dressing, salsa and garlic and pour them into the pan over the chicken. Cover and cook for about 10-15 more minutes (no need to turn). Add the shredded cheese directly over the chicken breasts, then cover for 1-2 minutes so the cheese gets delightfully melty.

There's virtually no prep for this and you could serve it a few different ways. We ate it just as it was, with a mix of corn and peppers and some red potatoes I cut into wedges and seasoned in an attempt to replicate Taco Bell's Fiesta Potatoes. You could also easily chop or shred it once it's cooked and make it into a taco or burrito, or garnish it with cilantro and tortilla strips if you're feeling fancy.

I know you've missed me, but I promise I'll make up for it. The fam and I spent a long weekend at Norris Lake over the last few days - sunning, boating, cocktailing and of course, eating. Lucky for you, I'll be detailing this gastro-riffic journey!

The first night we got into town, we had just enough time to get out on the boat before sunset. Afterwards, we ventured out for a grocery run and to grab a late dinner. Most of the joints in this little lake town close early, and the only place we could find open past 8:50pm was El Mariachi.
It looked like the typical hole-in-the-wall Mexican joint, so I wasn't expecting much - but we were all pleasantly surprised. We all ordered beers to accompany our salsa & chips brought to the table, and our food came out no more than 10 minutes after we'd ordered. The servings were plentiful and some of the best Mexican food any of us have had in a while. The most memorable dishes were dad's Picadillo (steak grilled with onions, peppers and tomatoes) and Mr. FvF's Pollo Loco (marinated grilled chicken in a spicy tomato sauce and oodles of cheese). Naturally, I sampled them both to make sure they weren't exaggerating the goodness because they were starving.

I'd love to tell you that I have pictures for you, but we hadn't eaten in 9+ hours, so there just wasn't time for such foolishness. The service was tops, and as far as Mexican food goes, it was pretty authentic and total taste bud annihilation.

I took one of my favorite clients to lunch today and she suggested El Toro, since it was right down the street on Harshman Road and she couldn't spare much more than an hour. I'd eaten at the one on Old Troy Pike before and remembered not being terribly impressed,but figured they may have made some improvements over the last year or so.

For having an empty restaurant, our server was pretty anxious - asking if we were ready to order after just being seated and given menus. Uhhhh, no - of course we're not ready to order. Our menus haven't even been opened. Once we had a chance to peruse, I ordered the carnitas (with a side of guacamole), mostly out of curiosity to see how they would measure up to my own.

I apologize for the bad cell phone pic, it really did look more appetizing than this. Of course, there were the standard yellow rice and refried beans (which tastes like the rice and beans at any other Mexican joint), and the carnitas were big 2-3" chunks of pork tenderloin. Not a bad thing, per se, but also NOT carnitas. They're supposed to be relatively shredded, very moist, and very flavorful. Now, had I ordered big chunks of pork tenderloin, I would have been okay with this dish. They were cooked nicely (not too dry), and well seasoned if we're just talking regular pork. I didn't pick up on any hints of cumin, chiles, or any other run-of-the-mill Mexican flavors. They were served smothered in grilled onions, though, so that helped amp up the flavor factor just enough to save me from being quite a bit sassier about the situation. I'm pretty sure the menu also advertised a tomatillo sauce they'd be served with, which I never got.

The other huge disappointment was the guacamole. Considering even Chili's can serve halfway decent guac, I was really miffed to see the bowl of neon green mess that came to the table - and also happened to look AND taste exactly like Dean's Guacamole flavored dip that you can find at any major grocer. It was masked with sour cream, and entirely too sweet. Gross.

The service continued to be unimpressive, with our server disappearing just as our drinks ran empty and we really needed to get our check. Overall, it was just okay, and that doesn't get it in my book.

It turns out my secret Mexican/Latin restaurant is becoming a lot less secret, and that's perfectly alright by me. Mr. FvF, my buddy Def Leper and I headed to Salsa's in the Airway shopping center last night, as part of what's become tradition to enjoy a little Mexican food on Cinco de Mayo without the crazies at Elsa's or the crowds at other Mexican joints. I went there last year on the same day and I don't think they'd been open long at the time, because it was less than half full during dinner rush. I figured worst case scenario, I'd get some decent food, a margarita, and it wouldn't be packed. I was so impressed by the menu (Tostones and chorizo? Count me in!), the food, the prices and the staff that it's probably the only Mexican restaurant I've set foot in since. I was hoping this 5/5 it wouldn't be too packed for us to get a table, but I wanted to see the place fill out a bit more, and they certainly did. We got there right at 6pm, and there were only two indoor tables and one patio table available.

I was more than happy to see they're Cinco drink specials of - are you sitting down? - 95 cent Margaritas! Considering it's cheaper than ordering a soda, we all ordered one, but weren't expecting much. Granted, they were made from your standard mix, but the tequila definitely wasn't lacking. By the time we'd had our fill of chips & salsa, our food came out. They've incorporated a clever method for a mid-range restaurant of wheeling the bigger orders out on carts so that it doesn't require 2-3 servers to bring food out for one table. The food, as always, was perfect.

The first time I made Mexican lasagna, a recipe I loved filled with meat, black beans, tomatoes, corn, peppers and onions, was one of the few times I saw the mister actually turn his nose up at food. A little to heavy on the vegetation, perhaps. I monkeyed around and dumbed-down the recipe a bit, and it now looks far less healthy and appealing, but for his tastes - far more delicious.

Mexican Lasagna (or, Hulked-out Mexican Pizza)



8 6" corn tortillas, cut in half
1 lb ground beef
1 packet taco seasoning
1 cup shredded colby-jack cheese
1 10 oz can diced tomatoes w/chiles (drained)
1 10 oz can refried beans
1 small can tomato sauce
1/4 cup water




Brown & drain your beef, then add the taco seasoning, water and 3 tbsp of the tomato sauce.
Lightly douse the bottom of a square baking dish with a few tablespoons of tomato sauce.
Mix the remaining tomato sauce in with your diced tomatoes & chiles.
Smear each tortilla half with the refried beans, and line the bottom of the baking dish with 4 of the halves.
On top of that, add a layer of the beef mixture, then a layer of the tomato mixture, and top of all with cheese. Repeat the last few steps until you run out of ingredients, but make sure you finish with a layer of cheese. Pop it in at 350 degrees for about 20-30 minutes, then take it out and let it rest 10 minutes before slicing. Garnish with sour cream or guacamole.

And yes, I know it looks like vomit casserole (so do Taco Bell and Arby's, and you probably eat that, too), but Mr. FvF insisted it was SO damn tasty that I had to post it. I have to agree with him, it was pretty fantastic. It was basically a slightly less crunchy, and way less-gross version of the beloved Mexican Pizza.