It is with a heavy heart that I tell you Food vs Face will no longer be working with Man-B-Que. As hurt as I am over the ordeal, and as much as I'd like to take this opportunity to verbally spank them in front of all of their friends on the information super highway, I will not. I'll only say that they are a young and fledgling organization with a lot to learn about how to conduct affairs, and the pitfalls of doing business with friends. I wish them the best in their future endeavors, and hopefully the Man-B-Que tradition can still carry on here in Dayton, without my help.

In case you don't already know, the first Dayton Man B Que was held here at Chez Food vs Face last weekend. I'll have some upcoming links to the MBQ site with all of the amazing recipes soon. For now, though, you'll have to get by on the leftovers. The festivities left behind all sorts of food in it's wake, from already cooked food from the night before, to about 2 1/2 pounds of ground chuck and various cheeses. My sister's mister missed the event because they were to busy gettin' their metal on with Iron Maiden in Cleveland, so I decided to throw some of my own burgers together and invite them over.

Again, I take the things that normally go on top of burgers and stuff them inside - almost like a meatloaf, but one that tastes good. Here's what you'll need for this burger (yields 7 burgers, so divvy as needed for smaller amounts):

2 1/2 lbs ground chuck (80/20)
5 oz (or about 1/2 C) sharp cheddar, cut into 1/2" cubes
1/4 C bread crumbs
1/2 C BBQ sauce (recommended: Sweet Baby Ray's Original)
6-8 slices of bacon, cooked crisp & coarsely chopped
1 egg, beaten
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cracked pepper
1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce

Combine all of the ingredients with your hands until very well mixed and form into patties. My personal preferred method is to make them into giant meatballs and flatten them just slightly - that way they don't cook too quickly or overcook. If you spy any of the cheese cubes poking out, thumb them back in and cover it up with ground beef. This will keep the precious cheese from oozing out during cooking when it starts to melt.

Toss them onto a 400 degree grill for about 3-5 minutes per side, or until they've got just a little give left to them, much like a medium steak (should create the same resistance as touching your nose with your finger). DO NOT squish the burgers with the spatula and let all of that fabulous juice out. You're grilling, so most of the actual fat will drip off. If you press them, you're ridding the burger of it's natural juices, i.e., flavor.

If you're feeling fancy (which we always are), top it with some onion rings or French fried onions, and enjoy the sound of your arteries clogging and life becoming exponentially more wonderful with each bite.

I've been lending my awesomeness to Chicago-based ManBQue for several months now, and it's time that shit gets real. In just a few weeks, ManBQue Godfather Jesse Valenciana and his crew of meat-centric goons will descend upon the Gem City to welcome anyone and everyone with a Y chromosome to enjoy three of the four things that men love most: meat, beer, and rock & roll.

ManBQue is a club, but by no stretch are they elitist. The main rules are very simple - you bring enough meat and beer to share. The grill must be in use at all times. No less than four different kinds of meat are to be served. You can read the rest, including the humiliation of vegetarians and required swearing here.

The first Dayton ManBQue will be held at a private residence (at most MBQs are), so please respond to me here, or to the email address on the above ad to RSVP and get more info.
If you're a chef or consider yourself a grill master (and have the chops to prove it), we'd love to have you attend as a judge in our grilling competition.

I'll stress, as redundant as it may seem, that ManBQue is only for men. Sorry, ladies. The only reason I'll be in proximity is because I've donated plenty of my time, resources and my own home to this organization, so I've earned my keep. Plus, I get to wear a mustache!
That aside, Dayton ManBQue hopes to grow in numbers and start hosting events at local eateries, same as the founding Chicago crew does now.

If you're a dude, and you love to grill (beginners are always welcome!), you need to get involved with ManBQue.

Also, if you think the above artwork is bad ass - which, of course, you do - contact Mr. FvF at therustyshackles@gmail.com

I've raved a few times about Tickets Pub in Fairborn and how much I love their Souvlaki. But, I don't always feel like driving across town to get it. Since it's grilling season, I may as well step to my Weber and learn to make it myself, tzatziki sauce included. It was not only easier than I thought, but sooooo much more delicious than expected. Most of the prep is done the night before, in order to let flavors meld and marinate, and even that only takes about 20 minutes.

Follow your nose over to Man B Que and see what all the fuss is about!


Editor's note: the heat index today was nearly 100 degrees, so it hardly seemed grilling weather, but this was so, so worth it.

The Godfather and his team of web-demons have been hard at work on this for a while, and it's worth every bit of the effort. Carnivores, I give you the brand new ManBQue website. Go poke around, and be sure to check in with the blog occasionally for new recipes and drivel. And if you're in Chicago, go to one of their events!

In other news, I've been "unfollowed" on Blogger for the very first time. I offended you! I really offended you!

Pretty soon, Dayton is going to have a ManBQue chapter to call its own. The official kick off will be in June or July, but this weekend Mr. FvF and I decided to host a CoedBQue (read the rules, totally allowed on weekends) to let some folks try out their recipes.
GK served up some fabulous Buffet burgers, stuffed with beer-can peppers and onions and smothered in pepper jack cheese...
Hoeflich grilled up some ribeyes that "fell off a truck," marinated in bacon fat and garlic...

and Evil Josh had the brilliant idea of stuffing skirt steak with apples, smoked mozzarella and crushed almonds.
Even though all of that was tough to top, the Mister's Double Buffalo Sliders stole the show. Even though I'm sure you've already gorged on your share of holiday meats, you're going to want these inside you. Waddle on over to ManBQue for the recipe!

I promised I'd post a gravy tutorial to follow up John's biscuit recipe, and last night's BFMFD finally gave me the chance to fulfill my obligation.

In the kind of household I grew up in, gravy was considered a condiment fit to put on almost anything - biscuits, eggs, toast, chicken, ham, potatoes, etc. Hell, it was practically considered a beverage. Mine was a very blue collar home, meaning we weren't wiping our asses with hundred dollar bills, and gravy was often used to "round out a meal." That probably explains a lot about my figure, actually.

Now's the time that you'll toddle on over to ManBQue for fulfillment of your wildest gravy fantasies.

• After a several weeks of amazing dishes, we a had a dinner fail. Turns out beef stroganoff is actually better with sausage. I should have gone to http://www.whatthefuckshouldimakefordinner.com

• District Dine-Arounds are back! Per the MVRA's newsletter:

  Starting 6/23/10, Guests will visit the Oregon District's art galleries, dine at the restaurants, and even tour an Oregon District mansion. The evening will kick off at an art gallery for appetizers and wine(prepared by an Oregon District eatery), and then we will head off to tour the Oregon District mansion. Then we will dine at one the restaurants for dinner, tour another gallery, and end up the evening with desserts. The evening will begin at 530pm. Restaurants include: Boulevard Haus, Coco's Bistro, Jay's, The Side Bar, and Thai 9. Menus and restaurant line up TBA. Cost is $ 40.00 per person which includes tax and gratuity. Tickets on sale now and can be purchased by clicking here.

• Speaking of The Side Bar, they're fully open for business now in the former Pacchia space in the Oregon District. They'll be serving all kinds of magically delicious dishes in addition to their already killer list of "vintage" cocktails, put together with help from the staff at The Violet Hour in Chicago.

• Submarine House has closed its Wilmington Pike location, but hopes to open another Kettering location in the bar & grill style that's going up in Fairborn.

• Homemade's new Fried Ice Cream flavor is pretty great, but not everything I want it to be. The cinnamon ice cream and honey-caramel swirl are amazing, but the cinnamon-dusted tortilla pieces have some texture issues after hanging out in all that dairy.

• The Man B Que Dayton chapter is finally getting off the ground. For more info on the wonderment of Man B Que, check out their website and the rules of being part of the club. I should reiterate there are no fees involved, and it's totally kick ass. If you're interested in being part of the Dayton chapter, contact Food vs. Face or leave a comment with your contact info. There will be a practice MBQ in late May, then the official kick off with the Godfather sometime in June.
  

I almost shat last week when I read an article regarding how baffling it is that the average American family receiving food stamps gets around $70 per week for a family of four. According to MSNBC, that's a very paltry amount. According to yours truly, it's perfectly reasonable, at least living in a mid-sized market like the Dayton-Cincinnati area. Granted, I'm only feeding myself and one other person, but we spend that amount about every two weeks - and we eat well.
On our last bi-weekly grocery excursion, I spent $20 at the butcher and $50 at the market. This produces about 10 meals, about half yielding leftovers, and items for lunch. While I certainly don't frown on coupon clipping, that's not the only way to save a buck. The trick, sometimes, is taking stuff you always have on hand and combining it with a cut of meat that's on a crazy special at your local butcher. This past week, my butcher had country ribs for a song - $1.69 per pound. I picked up a few pounds and decided to wing it.

Everyone knows currant flavors go great with pork - cherries, pomegranates, any dark berry, really. If root beer and Coca-Cola can be used in pork and poultry recipes, why not the black cherry soda I found a hell of a deal on?

Head on over to Man-B-Que for photos and the recipe!

Michael "Tripod" Palm from the Chicago Western Burbs Man B Que Chapter submitted this recipe to the Man B Que blog late last month and I'd been dying to try it out.
Conclusion: So full of win that I ate it until I made myself sick.

So, mosey on over to Man B Que and check out this ridiculously easy recipe. Food vs. Face only changed one tiny thing. I switched the loin out for pork shoulder (Boston Butt), just because that what I like to cook with. Also, Sweet Baby Ray's is the only molasses-based sauce allowed in Chez FvF, so I highly recommend sticking with it for the recipe, unless you make your own and genuinely think it's better. Although I love mustard-based sauces, it's out of place here. The pork gets a killer sweetness from cooking all day in the root beer, and it just ruins things.
And a word to the wise (which hopefully, you already know if you're reading FvF), never, EVER use Open Pit BBQ sauce unless you love the taste of rancid ketchup.

Everyone likes steak, and everyone likes pizza. Unless you're a communist, then you probably only like food that's of someone else's labor, and free for the taking. In fact, you're probably a dumpster diver, which means you never get steak or pizza, because only a retard would throw those out.
these to delightful food groups encompass the two most-craved items in my house, so I figured, why not get them together and see what kind of hot action ensues?

For the recipe, more photos and info on communism, follow your nose to Man-B-Que.

***A special note from Food vs. Face, just for you. Yeah, you - the one with the "no fat chicks" shirt and sexy mustache. FvF has teamed up with the mysterious, testosterone-laden fellas at Man-B-Que to showcase a meat-centric recipe every week or so. So, when you click that link and leave the magical land of Food vs. Face, I won't take it personally and start demanding that you talk about your feelings. It's okay, kitten. You go - go sew your wild oats. ***

When springtime rolls around, young mens' thoughts turn to those of fancy (read: boners), but mine turn to food. As much as I would love to be grilling, my precious has a defective valve and I have to improvise. A food fare that incorporates much of my favorite animal (the pig), as well as bold (but not spicy) flavors and doesn't necessarily require a grill hails from the home of Castro, cigars as long as your arm, dominoes and the guyabera.

I've been known to keep a brick in the kitchen for making Cuban sandwiches and thumping hobos, so while the press-sandwich is easy and tempting, I wanted to experiment. Or, how do they say in Cuba, "prostituta?" Click here to visit Man-B-Que and see the recipe, photos, and take bets on how many more Cuban jokes I can make.

Last September, I was lucky enough to have the Godfather of Man-B-Que, Jesse Valenciana, host a cookout here at Chez Vizz. The grill must have been overwhelmed by his prowess, because it went on the fritz after that. So, I took to cooking burgers and steaks with the next best method - a ridiculously hot cast iron skillet. At that fateful cookout, I presented Bacon Burger Dogs (BBDs), which were at that point a favorite among my male friends until they had the Godfather's burgers. He marinated the ground beef in Negro Modelo overnight and crammed the burgers with fresh garlic, cilantro, chihuahua cheese, and some other stuff I'm probably forgetting. What I'm trying to say here is that these burgers were LEGIT.

So, tonight I made my own version of his burger, switching out the God-forsaken $9 Chihuahua cheese for a more economical White Chiptole cheddar. Here's the scoop, kittens.
(Caveat: I like to make burgers that you require a double-jointed jaw to bite into, so this only serves two people. Multiply as needed.)

1 lb ground beef (I found that chuck is best because of the fat content)
1/2 cup cubed white chipotle cheddar
2 tbsp bread crumbs
2 tbsp melted butter
1/2 cup finely chopped cilantro
2 cloves garlic, crushed or minced
1/2 cup finely diced onion
salt & pepper to taste

Mix all of these wonderful things together. If you have a chance, definitely marinate the beef in beer overnight - it makes a noticeable difference. Form into gigantor patties and toss into a lightly oiled cast iron skillet (or preferably, grill) and cook on mid-high heat for about 4-5 minutes per side for medium. Even if you flub up and the burgers end up well done, they will still be ridiculously tender because of all the goodness stowed away inside. Serve on a toasted bun and top with sliced avocado - NOT lots of other bullshit like mayo, mustard, ketchup, etc. Trust me, you don't need it.

I was perusing the webbernets trying to find a few new things to bust out of our recent dinner rut, and realized I had plenty of chicken and beef recipes, but *gasp!* no pork! This simply would not do. I decided to take an idea from Jesse from Man-B-Que and adapt it for meatballs. See, he has this killer idea of taking the shit you like ON burgers and putting it IN burgers. So, I took all of the things I like to put in pasta and put it IN the meatball. As per usual, I didn't measure much of anything, but this recipe should yield pretty similar results.


Confetti Meatballs

1 lb bulk (ground) Italian sausage
3 tbsp finely diced green onions
1-2 Roma tomatoes, seeded and diced (sun-dried tomatoes would work great, too)
10 oz frozen chopped spinach, thawed and drained well
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 cup ricotta cheese
1/2 cup shredded mozzarella
1/2 tsp sage
1/4 cup seasoned bread crumbs
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper


Combine all of the ingredients and mix well (with your hands, you big sissy - get acquainted with your meat!). Form into 6-8 balls and place on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper and lightly oiled. I know what you're thinking - only six meat wads? These meatballs were designed to be enjoyed on their own, not as a condiment to pasta. Anyhow, bake at 375 for about 30-40 minutes or until the internal temp reaches 165 degrees.

















And yes, they taste as delicious as they look.

Still nothing terribly exciting to report. Mr. FvF and I are buckling down a bit in order to save up for the wedding and the Mexican fiesta that will follow, so we're cutting down a bit on dining out. We've cut some corners on catering cost, but Christopher's has been great to work with us. After going in to meet with their catering manager again tonight and trying some of their pies, we've also decided they'll be making our wedding pies. That's right, pie. $500 cakes are for jerks and lesbians. That said, here are this week's table scraps!

• McDonald's has a new dippin' sauce called Sweet Chili. I've yet to try it, but it's limited edition during the 2010 Winter Olympics - so, get while the gettin's good, lunchbox.

• Today I had lunch at Fleming's, and I really shouldn't complain, because - well, it's free lunch at Fleming's. But, the only option besides bottom-of-the-bowl salad was a seafood pasta salad. However, I dind't know this until I'd piled some on my plate and took a big bite. As I think I've mentioned, I'm NOT a seafood fan - but that's not what bothered me. What bothered me is there was zero notation that this contained shellfish, which tons of people are allergic to.

• At another luncheon, I scored a gift card to Logan's Roadhouse. I've heard the place is assy, but they serve a steak with beer-carmelized onions on the bottom and beer-battered onion straws on top. How bad can it really be?

• Finally tried Burger King's Funnel Cake Fries, and hoooooo-boy, what a disappointment! They're about as appetizing as a mouthful of sand, but without the beach and greased-up cabana boys that usually accompany such a thing. Imagine, if you will, their French toast sticks cut into small slivers, fried again in the same oil, dusted with powdered sugar, allowed to cool just enough to get stale, and served with a dip-able icing that tastes like lard and more powdered sugar. Hopefully they can pick themselves up and dust themselves off with this new Cupcake milkshake that I keep hearing so much about (mainly because my friend Ginger swears it will be her demise).

• In a heartbreaking turn of events, I came home to big footprints through the two feet of snow in my previously untouched backyard, to find that the cable company - after 6 moves and 12 years - finally realized their programming mistake and disconnected my basic cable. I'll have take a queue from my good friend Billiam and start watching Good Eats on the webbernets like a regular poor person.

• In the near future, my readers are going to witness the marriage of two truly amazing creatures. No, I'm not referring to my upcoming nuptials. What I'm talking about here involves a lot more artery-clogging goodness. Food vs. Face will soon be teaming up with Man-b-Que to bring you even more coverage of meat, meat, and God help us - MORE MEAT.

• In a feat that amazed even me, I scored a hell of a deal on emergency groceries earlier this week. Monday surprised Southern Ohio with another metric shit-ton of snow, so I ran out at 7 a.m. to grab some dinner items for the week before heading to work. I got all of the ingredients for beef stroganoff, tacos, meatballs, and anniversary chicken for $17. Butcher order and all. Then Mr. FvF reminded me that if you really think about the word "stroganoff," it's fucking hilarious.