It thrills me that even when I'm not updating, over 100 people a day still come check out FvF.  However, it also makes me feel like a dick for neglecting it - considering I used to top 500 readers a day.

So, dear eaters, I give you a brief food tour of Toledo. Between my work travels and a real vacation, I've had a lot of outstanding food lately (and some I could have lived without) - so it doesn't seem fair to withhold all of these perfectly good recommendations...should you ever find yourself in the city by the lake. In chronological order:

Biaggi's - Levis Commons
Reminded me a LOT of Brio or Bravo.

The major difference was the combination of letters after the B. It was good, but I wouldn't say remarkable. I also didn't order a remarkable dish because it was lunchtime and I'm not an animal. I got some kind of panini that claimed to have gouda, which I couldn't taste - but the tomato bisque was nice. Would I choose Piada over it about any day? Probably.  4/5

Byblos - Holland
Hooooooooooooly falafel, Batman. This salad should be served at all times, at any and all loosely Mediterranean joints. Also, best pickles of my life. Ever. I wanted to fill my purse with them and fill my hotel mini-fridge with them, as to enjoy them my entire stay. If you've never been to Toledo (I can't say I recommend it for a lengthy stay), probably 50% of the eateries put fresh, warm pita bread on the table where you'd normally find a boring loaf of bread. This is another thing most restaurants should start adopting. Right away. Anyhow, the salad was comprised of some kick-ass falafel, fresh cukes, tomatoes and radishes - and as you can see, covered in parsley. It was so good, I didn't even miss the meat. They also have a few Turkish/Greek wines on their list that I may have enjoyed one or a handful of.      6/5


Empire Restaurant - Oregon
Just don't eat here. Really. Just don't. You're welcome.

Tony Packo's - Original Location
A Toledo institution (of the food variety, not mental).

 It was explained very basically to me, and delivered on what was promised - coneys with a split sausage instead of a hot dog. The side of paprikash I got left a lot to be desired, but the dog and sauce were great.     3.5/5


Poco Piatti
Super legit tapas. Meat lollies!!!

The great sangria, beer selection and chorizo tacos didn't hurt, either. Nifty little place, with nifty little plates.
And again, with the fresh pita on the table. 4.5/5

Archer's Tavern has been open for a couple of years now, and I'd heard almost a 50/50 share of great and terrible things about the place.  It's close to Ma and Pa FvF's, so we figured when we could give it a try before picking up Lil FvF from a night with the grandparents.  We're not college football watchers, but we were still aware of the OSU/Michigan rivalry game - but we figured we'd be going for lunch early enough to miss most of the hooplah and fanboys.  The parking lot had enough spots left that I figured we'd made a safe bet - but the second we opened the car doors and heard the yells coming from inside, we knew we were wrong. I'd promised this review to another entity (who later decided they didn't want it), so we pressed on instead of trying to find a quieter eatery.  This is my warning to all of your Archer's loyalists (I can tell there are a few) that yes - I realize I chose a bad time to review them - but a restaurant should be on their A-game for new patrons at ALL times.

The roars got louder as we approached and opened the door, and I could feel my blood pressure rising.  The hostess was perfectly pleasant, as was our server.  As we were lead to our seats, we noted the layout that the bar was mostly separated from most of the restaurant by a wooden and glass partition, which would contain a lot of the whooping going on toward the game.  Unfortunately, there some serious assholes there that think it's kosher to bring your wife and small children to the main dining room, pound almost half a dozen Captain and Cokes, and scream at the TV in the main dining area.  It became painfully and quickly evident that this family are probably regulars and the staff made zero effort to ask this douche to bring it down a peg or two, regardless of the other families with children and older patrons trying to have a meal near them.  They just kept letting this guy breathe up all of the good air and run up his bill.  Sorry, natives - but this is the kind of drunken entitlement that Centervillers are known for.  This is why I almost never, ever eat in your town.

Anyhow, the food was par.  We ordered fried pickles, the Mister had a Brat Burger and I had a cheesesteak.  His burger was actually pretty impressive, but cancelled out by how dry and bland my cheesesteak was.  Yes, I just said a DRY cheesesteak.  I actually had to ask for mayo to get through it.  \T


The pickles were pickles - nothing to write home about.  I'm sure there's some inside joke or bizarre logic to the pricing, but nothing was a nice round number.  This annoyed me for an unknown reason.

The Mister got some kind of Pork Milanese with cheese tortelloni.  I think sometimes Olive Garden doesn't look up the meanings of words before they use them, because tortelloni is supposed to be a giant, beastly version or tortellini.  These suckers were about the size of a silver dollar.  I won't even get started on the ridiculous words they make up for their half-assed, unoriginal recipes.  

I never thought the day would come that my husband tired of Ticket's Pub and their delicious, carnivorous Greek Hot Plate. We've been known to make several excuses and maybe even get unnecessary hair cuts, just so we could say, "Might as well grab a bite at Ticket's. It'll be too late to cook once we get home." While I still have a Pavlovian response to the words "Greek Hot Plate," the magic seems to have faded for him. I suggested the usual post-haircut dinner there and he suggested trying something new instead.

I've been busy pushing maximum density lately, which has left me with a whirlwind of Gem City restaurant news to catch up on. First off, a ton of new eateries are opening.

A few weekends ago, before the great plague fell upon our house, Mr. FvF and I decided to take a trip out to Wasserstrom Restaurant Supply. I'd always wanted to go, and now had an excuse because I needed some pro gear for my Swedish Chef costume. Long story short, the trip was a bust - they didn't have what I needed and everything was ridiculously pricey. Clockwise from top to center:

I didn't want to have a full-on bachelorette party, so I decided to get some of my gals together for dinner. The Filling Station is right down the street from at least half of the gals I invited, and I know they have good food and a great beer list. The last time I went, just after they'd opened, I wasn't at all impressed with the service. I was hoping that a year later, that would have changed and they'd all be a bit less green.

The food and atmosphere: tops. Everyone's food was plentiful and tasty, with a friendly, fun crowd and a good game room - where unfortunately, most things were still broken (as they were on my first visit). On the phone they'd told me since I had a large party, we could use the banquet room at no cost, since no one was in there that night. We got there and the hostess looked sort of put out and started asking waitresses to move tables together to accommodate us. Not sure what she didn't understand when I explained the phone call I'd made just an hour earlier about the banquet room. We had a server who had a trainee tagging along with her, which is normally no big whoop - except the "experienced" one didn't know what any white wines were, despite chardonnay. They then informed us that they were out of basically every white wine, and delivered my sister a glass of Chianti that she didn't order. Luckily, they had Maker's Mark - so at least I was still in business.

They took our the table's order in three different waves, so no one got their food at the same time. When we were ready to retire to the patio, it took almost 30 minutes for everyone to get their checks. Oh, did I mention some of our party walked in on our waitress sobbing hysterically in the ladies' room? Good times. Not awkward at all.

Again, I'll reiterate that the food was very good. I ordered some sweet chili wings and sampled the fries, club sandwich, quesadilla and cheese sticks, and they were all great. But, I doubt I'll be rolling the dice on their service many more times. Maybe restaurant owners could take a page from Figlio's book and start hiring people with excellent customer service backgrounds, instead of assuming that a lot of restaurant experience makes someone a good server.

I met up with two of my best gals, Ginger and her adorable daughter, a few days before the wedding for a little ladies' lunch. Beef's is right around the corner from them, so I met them there to make it easier, in case they wanted to walk.

Long story short, I wasn't terribly impressed. The food was pretty good, but not outstanding, and the service was laughable. We stood around for a minute upon entering, considering the sign said "please wait to be seated," but waited around for a guy to tell us to sit where ever we wanted. He seemed overly flustered, considering most of the tables were empty, and didn't bother offering us a high chair or booster seat for the little one until after Gin had pilfered one from another table.

It took almost 40 minutes for our food to arrive. If I'd been on a regular work schedule, I would have walked out by this point. I ordered the Smokin' Jack Sliders with pineapple cole slaw and mashed potatoes with Guiness Gravy.

The sliders were good, but nowhere near what they were billed as in the photo or description. The taters & gravy were good, but honestly - not much more impressive than KFC. The cole slaw was just regular slaw - not the slighest hint of pineapple could be found.

I sipped on an empty cup a few times, until a girl came to refill it. The great part was, she'd take off with the cup and be gone for five minutes instead of bringing me another one, while I tried to finish off my salty food with no beverage.

Pretty disappointing, and it's safe to say I won't be back.

We dug into Summer Restaurant week this evening, with our first choice - Meadowlark Restaurant. I've been wanting to go there for quite some time, it's just not really in the budget for a couple of scrappy young kids saving up for a wedding. I figured I'd wait for a special occasion to check it out, but better yet - Restaurant Week.

In case you don't already know, most mid-large market cities hold a restaurant week once or twice per year (Dayton has two), when local eateries offer special menus for a special price, part of the portions benefiting a local charity. In this case, you can get a three-course meal at Meadowlark for only $20.10. Hell of a deal.

I didn't think about making a reservation, as a lot of places don't even take them during this promotion. There was certainly a crowd, but the hostess said there was only a 30 minute wait, which didn't seem too shabby. We browsed around looking at furniture next door for a while, then came back in just under 30. Unfortunately, we waited almost another 30 minutes after returning from our window shopping. Meadowlark is situated very unassumingly in a shopping plaza near the Dayton Mall. Space inside is very limited, which means all but 5 people waiting have to hang outside. When it's 90 degrees out, that's nothing but a stone-cold bummer.

As packed as they were, none of the staff seemed flustered - everyone was still friendly and attentive. Our drink & meal orders were taken quickly. The only thing that struck me as odd is that if you order soda, it comes in a 20 oz. bottle. I've noticed a lot of small independent restaurants doing this, and I can't say I'm a fan. I always order water, but Mr. FvF likes his Sprite. Just seems like it's more cost-effective do have fountain sodas (certainly is for the consumer - no free refills here!). Then again, I'm not a restaurant owner or a buyer.

Since we ordered off the RW menu, I knew our food would come out quickly. Since most of the patrons had been waiting on line, the chef was thoughtful enough to send an extra small plate out to all of the tables - crispy, seeded flatbreads with pimento spread. Doesn't sound like much, but it was just enough of a nibble to get your appetite going. Plus, the mister doesn't care for pimento, so - more for me! Our menu appetizer came out next, and we'd both ordered the same thing - Griddled Summer Squash with Falafel, Blistered Tomatoes, Herbs, Feta, Lemon Oil and Za’atar. It was the most appetizing things I'd seen in years.
This would be a good time to mention that Meadowlark is a chef-owned restaurant, which is also mutually exclusive with having amazing food. Chef Elizabeth Wiley's creations at Meadowlark are certainly no exception. This tasted every bit as good as it looked. Mister Picky Pants doesn't care for tomatoes, so again - more for me.

Just after they cleared these plates, like clockwork, our dinners came out. I opted for the Braised Pork Shoulder with Red Chile Jus, Tortilla Budin and Vegetable Slaw...

and Mr. FvF had the Seared Red Snapper with Smoked Shrimp Hash and Fresh Corn Butter Sauce.

The first bite of mine was divine, and that feeling stuck around until I'd cleaned my plate. The pork was so tender, I'm not even sure why they bothered bringing a steak knife with the dish. As good pork shoulder should, it just fell apart at the touch of a fork. Between the sauce and the seasonings, it reminded me a lot of carnitas done very, very well. The red chile jus underneath and around the pork couldn't have been more complimentary. The veggie slaw was great - just enough vinegar and capers to bring it to life, but not soak or overpower the cabbage. I could have done without the tortilla budin. It wasn't bad, it just didn't bring much to the dish and was a bit on the bland side.

I don't dig on seafood at all (okay, now you can call ME picky), so I just have to take Mister's word on the fish dish. He gave it an overall 8 out of 10. According to him, the shrimp in the hash wasn't very detectable, and the snapper was good, just not remarkable. Keep in mind he's quite a finicky eater and lived in coastal towns for much of his life, so for him, that's a pretty good rating for seafood.

For dessert he ordered the warm eclair with French chocolate mousse, and I had the Dolcessa Gelato Fresh Peach Ice Cream with Butter Cake and Bourbon Sauce. We both traded bites of our desserts, and I have to say, the eclair wasn't memorable. It was good for an eclair, that's just not the type of dessert that impresses me. It was definitely better than Perkins-grade, but nothing you couldn't get at a local bakery. Pastries very rarely get my goat, so take this with a grain of salt.

My dessert was pretty boss. It had to be for me to keep eating it, considering cold food gives me a painful reminder that I need a root canal.
My only real complaint is that I think I may have been shorted the bourbon sauce. Basically, what I got was some great pound cake with some kick-ass gelato on top. I really despise fruit-flavored things, but love the taste of actual fresh summer stone fruits in a gelato, which Dayton's own Dolcessa Gelato very successfully provided.

I'm not sure Meadowlark will shoot quickly to the top of our favorite places to splurge, but I'll definitely make it in another time to check out their regular menu offerings.

Ma and Pa FvF were nice enough to treat us to dinner Friday night, because they're better than most people. Pa doesn't care to venture out to the North side for Old Hickory, so his pick for steak is always Longhorn on West Dorothy Lane. I'm not normally a big proponent of chains, but I've gone to Longhorn several times over the last few years and never had bad food OR bad service.

The salads were plentiful and super tasty. Ma and Pa got the seasonal strawberry salad, which consisted of mixed field greens with strawberries, grapes, mandarin oranges, candied pecans, red onion, feta, and raspberry vinaigrette. My Caesar salad was also delicious, but one bite of theirs and I wished that I could take back my original order.


We all ordered different versions of their Renegade sirloin. Ma and I got the 8 oz (mine mid-rare and hers mid-well) and the fellas for the 12 ouncers (one medium and one mid-rare). In all honesty, two of the steaks ordered medium and under were the slightest bit overcooked, but not to the point of sending back. I still got a nice, solid medium, while Mr. FvF's - ordered the same way, was a perfect mid-rare. They were still delicious and perfectly edible, so we saw no point in sending them back and waiting for another steak.

We did mention the inconsistency in the steaks to our server, who was very apologetic (and very attentive and sweet all-around), but we insisted we didn't want anything to be done about it, except maybe passing a word along to the chef.

I should also note that we arrived right in the middle of Friday evening dinner rush, but didn't have to wait for a table. It was plenty busy, but the servers still took their time with each table and didn't make you feel rushed.

I do, however, have one big beef with the place that has zero to do with the food, but it really, really creases me. I'm a stylish gal who always likes to wear cute shoes. Anyone who knows me knows that you'll more easily get eaten alive by bears than see my in public without heels on. I've been walking in nothing but them since I was about 16, and it's an art I've mastered. Hell, I can even run in them. The floors at Longhorn Steakhouse are incredibly slippery, and my greatest foe. I don't know if it's the finish of the floors or a wax they use on them, but if you're wearing anything but sneakers or flip-flops, your feet will roll around underneath you like Fred Flintstone until you're assholes over elbows in the middle of their dining room floor. It's so bad, in fact, that unless I'm seated right near the ladies' room (which, ew - no thank you), I won't even make the trek no matter how bad I have to go. I'd feel a little guilty driving to another steakhouse in the Bugatti Veyron that I obtained by suing them for crippling me for life.

So, major point deduction for that, and half a point off for two out of four steaks being slightly over-cooked.

Some folks call it thrifty. Some folks call it frugal. I've always been fond of "parsimonious." When referring to my own spending, I call it "you'll have to pry my money from my cold, dead hands." I've always been known to be a bit tight with my dollars. When I was in the second grade and the teacher asked us all what we wanted to be when we grew up, I said "loan shark." No foolies. Ma FvF had cracked a joke about it when I loaned my sister a dollar and charged interest on it, so it seemed like a wise career choice.

In department stores, I go straight for the clearance racks. I coupon clip, sale watch, barter & bargain, and rarely ever pay full price for anything. As well as we eat here at Chez FvF, we only spend about $200 (give or take) on groceries each month. If it weren't for someone being a bit of a picky eater and my mild gluten allergy, we'd be spending a lot less. When we dine out, we're just as penny-pinching. I've been asked by a few people to compile a list of my favorite cheap eats in Dayton. Some of these you can get out the door paying less than $20 for both people, but all of them you'll pay far less than $20 a piece, not including your booze tab. These are all sit-down joints (under $20 does not include tip in all cases), no fast food, pizza delivery or deli style/order-at-the-counter joints. Needless to say, they're also all local independents, so you should feel good about giving them your hard-earned money.


Salsa's - 4904 Airway Road Dayton, OH
I discovered Salsa's shortly after it opened and it's become a staple when I'm craving Mexican or Latin food. Expansive menu, great service, close to home, and the price is right. The entrees Mr. FvF and I usually order are under $9 a piece, so without considering the tip (and we normally don't order soft drinks), our check is usually just under $20.


Christopher's - 2318 E Dorothy Ln Kettering, OH
This, to me, is the holy grail of eating under $20. They serve breakfast, lunch and dinner, and all for a bargain. You genuinely can't beat their quality of food, either. they use free-range meats and make a lot of their own sauces and dressings, and the house-made pies are out of this world. So good, in fact, that Mr. FvF and I decided to ditch wedding cake all together and serve their pies as dessert at our wedding (they're catering the dinner, as well). The priciest thing on the menu is the Neptune's Temple Platter, which is baked haddock, grilled shrimp, bay scallops, crab cakes, potatoes and a vegetable for $16.95. If you're feeling spendier, you can get a complete dinner for two for $34.95, which includes beverages, an appetizer and two desserts.


Tank's Bar & Grill - 2033 Wayne Ave Dayton, OH
Best burgers around. And no, I haven't been to Five Guys yet, but I guarantee you I won't turncoat and say they're better than Tank's when I do. My usual: Bacon cheeseburger (in which the bacon is always cooked to perfection), medium, with cheddar on an onion bun and a Love Seat (half of a Couch Potato, which is hand-cut fries smothered in cheese and Tank's award-winning chili. Burgers and other super-stacked sandwiches tend to run about $6-7. I heard they do a killer weekend breakfast, too - but of all my years in Dayton, I have yet to be up early enough to make it.


Ticket's Pub - 7 W Main St Fairborn, OH
Whether bar food or Greek food is what you're craving, Ticket's is your joint. One side of the menu is all poppers, wings, potato skins & mini corn dogs, while the other side showcases their Greek specialties, like Souvlaki, gryos, and the gigantor Greek hot plate (feeds two very well for $16.75). There's also the veg-friendly Greek Cold plate for the non-carnivorous. They have some great dinner specials, too, including their least budget-friendly item, a one pound ribeye dinner for $18.95.


Golden Nugget Pancake House - 2932 S Dixie Dr Kettering, OH
Burgers and pancakes and soups - oh, my! Open only for breakfast and lunch (closed Mondays), the 'Nug is a Dayton landmark and makes an absolute killing. You'll be hard pressed not to see a line out the door if their lights are on, but don't worry - it moves quickly.
They had a sever kitchen fire back in 2006-ish, and re-opened with serious gusto several months later with a more updated look and quite a bit more room. The waitresses call you honey, and it's some of the best breakfast ( or lunch) you'll ever have.
I'm obviously not the only one who thinks so. Everyone who commented on the Nug's Mr. Breakfast page is in love, too. A short stack (even specialty flapjacks) will cost you around $4, and you can get a grilled cheese for as little as $2.95. My favorites are the banana pancakes with a side of crispy bacon, or the country omelet.

I'd just recently heard tell of a little place called Pie Pizzeria, thanks to an ad my friend showed me, where the place was very clearly calling Cousin Vinny's bluff on their late night eats lockdown. Let it be known that Food vs. Face is no stranger to Cousin Vinny's, and I've eaten just as many times sober as I have, uh...not sober. And it's good pizza. It's not spectacular, but it's good, cheap, and they'll deliver until 4 a.m. I hate to be the one to tell you this, and Vinny's - I'm so, so sorry - but there's a new sheriff in town, and that sheriff's name is Pie Pizzeria.

My friend Melanie who showed me the aforementioned ad raved about the pizza, and drooled over their 8 pound stuffed pie, the Fughetaboutit. Their online menu doesn't seem to have as much info as the print one I saw, but it's enough info to make an order. It also boasts the "Bigger 10," which is a 16" 1 topping pizza, 8 breadsticks and 2 cans of soda.

After spending all day cooking in the sun at a family reunion yesterday, my sister, myself and our beaus decided no one wanted to stand around in a hot kitchen and cook, and that this would be the prime time to try the new joint. So, we ordered the Bigger 10 and an additional large pie. Note: It should be mentioned that these photos were taken of reheated pizza. The ones taken last night came out with the big-foot effect again.


I should also note that we have nearly 12" dinner plates and the breadsticks still hung over the side. I've honestly never seen breadsticks this gigantor, and to boot - they were delicious. I have to admit, I have a soft spot for Cousin Vinny's breadsticks (cheese dust and cheese sauce...om nom nom). So, Pie hasn't yet won the breadstick battle with me.

But the pizza, now that's a different story. As far as delivery goes, this is probably some of the best pie I've ever had. I never order from large chains like Domino's, but this is far better than CV's, LaRosa's, Sarpino's and maybe Corleone's. The tops of the crust (same as the breadsticks) have a parmesan-herb dusting that's divine. I'm not sure if they make their own sauce, but it's in the same category as Troni's marinara, which is saying a lot. Not too sweet, not overly salty or acidic. The crust itself is great, and almost pastry-like in its density. A lot can also be said for the perfect amount of cheese. It's not triple bypass cheese like Pizza Hut, but also not the "Hey, we perpetually just ran out of cheese while making your pizza" that Dayton-style 'za typically sports. I can't say a lot for the toppings, because we got 1 pepperoni and another pepperoni with green peppers, but I doubt they disappoint when it comes to the easy stuff.

Their specialty pies are a bit steep, but I'm sure I'll try them eventually (I'm looking at you, Bronx BBQ). But, the Bigger 10 is a great deal and somehow this stuff fills you up faster than the original Big 10 from Vinny's. Two of the biggest eaters I know (Meestor Seestor and Mr. FvF) couldn't polish off a large between the two of them, let alone by themselves. We had about 3/4 of a pie left and a few breadsticks left.

Considering their small staff and relative newness (they opened in November), delivery didn't take any longer than expected on a Saturday night - about 40 minutes, which was the estimate I was given on the phone.

My gal pal Ginger owed herself a ladies day out, which turned into a shopping excursion with me on the hunt for a gaudy dress for my dirty thirty party. Everyone knows that ladies lunch, but broads and bitches prefer to brunch. So, we hit the new-ish Bravo just outside the Dayton Mall and figured we'd give it a whirl. It took us a while to decide, since we had brunch, lunch and dinner menus to choose from. But, our handsome and attentive server brought me a peach Bellini and Gin a Bloody Mary while we perused. Let's not forget the mini loaves of warm, rosemary bread they bring out with the infused oil that I'd probably drink from a bottle like a hobo sipping on Thunderbird wine.

Gin decided on the Grilled chicken salad, and opted for the entree size, since the lunch portion seemed too small. Also, we had BIG hongries.
Her salad came out looking lot bigger then she'd planned, as did my food, so it was perfect sitting & chatting food while we picked away at it.

I chose the Omelet of the day - spinach, fresh tomatoes, feta cheese, caramelized onions, asparagus, to which I of course added bacon. I was so excited to see that it came with fresh fruit. I was rushing through my Bellini so far that I didn't even spy that on the menu.
Dad, please don't get upset when I say this is the best omelet I've ever had. It was on an entirely different place then Pa FvF's omelets, which are usually stuffed which things not nearly as good for you, but are an absolute staple in my comfort food repertoire. The eggs were just the fluffiest I'd ever had, and filled to the brim with bright flavors and balanced out by the sweetness and smokiness of the bacon and onions. And the big winner - NO damn Hollandaise sauce. Put it on your fries or something, because it doesn't belong on an omelet like this (bob Evans, I'm looking in your direction). To boot, the fruit selection was all ripe and in season. I ate everything but the blueberries, which I knew would stain my teeth and make for an awful trip to the MAC counter later.

Considering prices rising all over the place on menus, this was quite a bargain. The bread, the omelet, the fruit and the Bellini only came to about $16. Minus the cocktail, you're looking at about a $10 tab, which you won't even beat at Bob Evans these days. The priciest thing on Bravo's brunch menu is only $13.99, and that's the Bistecca Benedict - "two poached eggs served atop beef tenderloin medallions and Romano crusted tomatoes with Hollandaise sauce. Served with breakfast potatoes." Sounds like some local restaurateurs need to up their game and get in on this brunch menu. Come on, even Baptists are out of bed by 10 a.m. If you know of any other local spots serving brunch, let a gal know!

On our last day in Charlotte, I met up with my friend Andy from United States of Geekdom to catch up and have lunch. I figured we'd hit the Sandwich Club again and I'd try something different - but alas, at noon on a Saturday, those assholes were closed. I realize that because of their location, they probably cater to the uptown business crowd, but they could have done Gangbusters business that day just opening for three hours.

This left us with few options, aside from Fuel Pizza, which had been raking in the dough (HA!) since late Wednesday night when the HeroesCon crowd rolled in. I was apprehensive because of the impending carb-fail, but they actually had a pretty varied menu for a small pizza joint, including wings (boneless, too), salads, apps and sides. The only problem is, perhaps because they were so busy, the gal taking orders at the counter practically bit your head off and moved on to the next in line if you didn't spit out your order within five seconds. So, I ended up getting pizza anyway because she scared the shit out of me. I ordered a combo of a side salad, soft drink and BBQ chicken pizza. Again, I wish I hadn't been so rushed because I really think I would have opted for something else, but it was the only thing I could read the sign on. The prices were pretty fair for the area, too - about $6.85 for my combo.

Not surprisingly, I forgot to snap a photo before digging in, but the consensus was that my pizza was dry and not impressive, and the pepperoni slices that Andy got were just greasy enough and pretty delicious. I really should have tried a bite of his, since he was acting like Karen Carpenter and picking away at his slice. My salad was just a salad, nothing to write home about. Some chopped iceberg, a few tomato bits and a tiny bit of shredded carrots.

It was a very hurried lunch, so I almost feel guilty giving them a sub-par rating, but given that they knew this rush was coming (the Con is held right across the street every year), they could have beefed up on their service to render the one girl working counter a bit less bitey.

After being holed up in the hotel room for the better part of the day, I met Mr. FvF for lunch. Again, the cute little park across from the convention center left little dining options that were even relatively affordable. Apparently Charlotte seems to think they're Chicago with the prices they're charging. Did I mention that Thursday night I paid $17 for a drink? Yeah, and beers were $8.

The rub is, he was on a tight schedule, so we had to go some place within walking distance. The only thing other than pizza was a little joint called Sandwich Club. They had a pretty good variety available, and the prices were fair enough. Most specialty sandwiches were $6.50, while the more standard fare was $5.50 - all chips, drinks, etc were a la carte. They had a good variety of sides and bread options, as well.

The food was fine. Not spectacular, but not bad. My chicken salad was decent, but wasn't sweet enough and just not flavorful enough in general. The Mister's chicken cordon blue was admittedly much better than my choice, but they definitely used the frozen chicken patties along the lines if what you might get at BK or Wendy's.













While I'm glad it was there (and open), it was just very mediocre and I don't have much to add about it.

Once we stood in line amongst hundreds of clamoring nerds trying to check into the Westin for HeroesCon Thursday night, we cleaned ourselves up and met with a few of Mr. FvF's co-workers for dinner. Uptown Charlotte must have suffered some brutal financial blows since last year's con, because a lot of the restaurants everyone remembered were gone. Right across the street was a pizza place called Fuel (which I'll get to in another post), and the only other place we could find was called Mason's uptown. Based on their specials board, the prices didn't seem too hateful - and more importantly, they had a bar.

It felt like a good escape from the swampy heat when we walked it, but once we got seated it suddenly got very warm again. I found it pretty strange that the place was damn near empty and immediately wondered if we'd made a huge mistake. Our server, who was sweet - but appeared completely out to lunch, came over to take our drink order, but quickly informed us that there were no drink specials, no meal specials (really? then what's with the board?), and they were out of burgers and ribs. WTF. Not only did burgers make up nearly 1/4 of the menu, but they were the most reasonably priced. There were a lot of wraps, pizza, and other sandwiches, but as usual - not a lot of options for carb haters who don't eat seafood. Two of the fellas ordered fish and chips, another got a Caesar salad (meal sized), and I opted for the Bull Bites, which were billed as "tender tips of fillet seasoned and grilled to a perfect medium." This was on the appetizers menu and didn't mention coming with anything else, so I also ordered a side Caesar salad.

I should also mention that I ordered a Maker's Mark and diet, which they were also out of. I ordered another drink, which the bartender brought over to me and apologized for the shortage. About halfway through our meal, our server brought me a diet Pepsi - the same diet Pepsi that should have been in my Maker's that they were out of. Ugh.

Sometime before I reached retirement age, our food finally arrived, and I was more than a little chaffed to see what I had paid $10 for.
In case you can't tell from the photo, that would be two skewers, no longer than 5" each, with maybe 6 oz of very overcooked steak between the two of them. Oh, and let's not forget the two cold onion rings and Horseradish sauce. A minimal amount of time and effort could have gone into the plating and prep of this to make it less than a total failure, but we quickly learned why their give-a-shitter seemed to be broken.

When the server brought us our outrageous bill, she made mention that this was their last night open, and we were their last customers. While I still assume that the food and service was no better on a night that they weren't closing the doors, I suppose I can't blame them for not really giving a rip.

I took one of my favorite clients to lunch today and she suggested El Toro, since it was right down the street on Harshman Road and she couldn't spare much more than an hour. I'd eaten at the one on Old Troy Pike before and remembered not being terribly impressed,but figured they may have made some improvements over the last year or so.

For having an empty restaurant, our server was pretty anxious - asking if we were ready to order after just being seated and given menus. Uhhhh, no - of course we're not ready to order. Our menus haven't even been opened. Once we had a chance to peruse, I ordered the carnitas (with a side of guacamole), mostly out of curiosity to see how they would measure up to my own.

I apologize for the bad cell phone pic, it really did look more appetizing than this. Of course, there were the standard yellow rice and refried beans (which tastes like the rice and beans at any other Mexican joint), and the carnitas were big 2-3" chunks of pork tenderloin. Not a bad thing, per se, but also NOT carnitas. They're supposed to be relatively shredded, very moist, and very flavorful. Now, had I ordered big chunks of pork tenderloin, I would have been okay with this dish. They were cooked nicely (not too dry), and well seasoned if we're just talking regular pork. I didn't pick up on any hints of cumin, chiles, or any other run-of-the-mill Mexican flavors. They were served smothered in grilled onions, though, so that helped amp up the flavor factor just enough to save me from being quite a bit sassier about the situation. I'm pretty sure the menu also advertised a tomatillo sauce they'd be served with, which I never got.

The other huge disappointment was the guacamole. Considering even Chili's can serve halfway decent guac, I was really miffed to see the bowl of neon green mess that came to the table - and also happened to look AND taste exactly like Dean's Guacamole flavored dip that you can find at any major grocer. It was masked with sour cream, and entirely too sweet. Gross.

The service continued to be unimpressive, with our server disappearing just as our drinks ran empty and we really needed to get our check. Overall, it was just okay, and that doesn't get it in my book.

It turns out my secret Mexican/Latin restaurant is becoming a lot less secret, and that's perfectly alright by me. Mr. FvF, my buddy Def Leper and I headed to Salsa's in the Airway shopping center last night, as part of what's become tradition to enjoy a little Mexican food on Cinco de Mayo without the crazies at Elsa's or the crowds at other Mexican joints. I went there last year on the same day and I don't think they'd been open long at the time, because it was less than half full during dinner rush. I figured worst case scenario, I'd get some decent food, a margarita, and it wouldn't be packed. I was so impressed by the menu (Tostones and chorizo? Count me in!), the food, the prices and the staff that it's probably the only Mexican restaurant I've set foot in since. I was hoping this 5/5 it wouldn't be too packed for us to get a table, but I wanted to see the place fill out a bit more, and they certainly did. We got there right at 6pm, and there were only two indoor tables and one patio table available.

I was more than happy to see they're Cinco drink specials of - are you sitting down? - 95 cent Margaritas! Considering it's cheaper than ordering a soda, we all ordered one, but weren't expecting much. Granted, they were made from your standard mix, but the tequila definitely wasn't lacking. By the time we'd had our fill of chips & salsa, our food came out. They've incorporated a clever method for a mid-range restaurant of wheeling the bigger orders out on carts so that it doesn't require 2-3 servers to bring food out for one table. The food, as always, was perfect.

Ryan Adams trumped Wilco by getting a pizzeria devoted to his music.
See, some crazy Wilco fans have already taken the band's songs and turned them into both their namesake and menu at Sky Blue Sky Sandwich Company in Toronto.
In the battle of pizza vs. sammiches, Jeff and Ryan will now face off in an all-new arena.
A Greensboro, NC eatery has been discovered called Sticks & Stones Clay Oven with menu items such as the "Bar Lights" tapas plate, "Firecracker" pizza and the "Damn, Sam" salad.

The menu looks limited, but pretty damn good. We might have to make a detour on the way to Charlotte for HeroesCon in June to check it out and give you a full review. And yes, HeroesCon is a nerd convention. And no, I'm not dressing up as any character besides Joan Holloway, which is not exactly a costume. Mr. FvF will be signing his very fancy artwork for all the fanboys, and I will be in the hotel hot tub with my best friend Stoli. He's Russian.