Let's be serious: I drank a lot more than I ate in Las Vegas. This is comical in and of itself, considering drinks run about $11-20 a piece. But hey, when in rome - get loaded on expensive craft cocktails, right?



Rx Boiler Room - Mandalay Bay

Food portions are on the smaller side, but the citrus braised veal cheeks were excellent. If you're my co-worker, they may throw a hot plate of pastrami sliders at you and then only offer to replace that spilled plate for free after ruining your shirt.
The basic rundown is this: all of the servers are outfitted in steampunk regalia. If you don't know what that means, imagine if Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and Bauhaus had a kid, and it got picked on at school all the time (why wouldn't it?). More importantly, the female servers and hostesses are wearing little more than a corset and some tulle. Which is great when they're pouring you one of these right out of the skull-shaped, smoke filled bottle:
Doesn't look like much, but check out this video for the full experience (and no, that lightweight is NOT me). It really was tremendous. It smelled like someone was boiling maple syrup over a campfire, and the blend of cola syrup was just right. I enjoyed the hell out of this. Service here was meh. They made a big misstep in how they attempted to correct the food spillage on my work buddy. 3.5/5


Carmine's - Shoppes at Caesar's Palace
I'll admit, this photo of Chicken Saltimbocca looks gnarly, but it was delicious. I can't find this dish on a menu in Dayton to save my life. Even more amazing, but not pictured, was the veal. Holy hell, it was out of this world. For those unfamiliar, Carmine's is a family style Italian joint with its original location in NYC. This is their Las Vegas second coming, which I hear happens a lot there. By family style (now it's your turn to get your minds out of the gutter), the dishes serve about 3-4 people a piece, so don't be alarmed at the $30+ per entree pricing. Service was outstanding, mostly because our server really knew the menu and wine list.

It thrills me that even when I'm not updating, over 100 people a day still come check out FvF.  However, it also makes me feel like a dick for neglecting it - considering I used to top 500 readers a day.

So, dear eaters, I give you a brief food tour of Toledo. Between my work travels and a real vacation, I've had a lot of outstanding food lately (and some I could have lived without) - so it doesn't seem fair to withhold all of these perfectly good recommendations...should you ever find yourself in the city by the lake. In chronological order:

Biaggi's - Levis Commons
Reminded me a LOT of Brio or Bravo.

The major difference was the combination of letters after the B. It was good, but I wouldn't say remarkable. I also didn't order a remarkable dish because it was lunchtime and I'm not an animal. I got some kind of panini that claimed to have gouda, which I couldn't taste - but the tomato bisque was nice. Would I choose Piada over it about any day? Probably.  4/5

Byblos - Holland
Hooooooooooooly falafel, Batman. This salad should be served at all times, at any and all loosely Mediterranean joints. Also, best pickles of my life. Ever. I wanted to fill my purse with them and fill my hotel mini-fridge with them, as to enjoy them my entire stay. If you've never been to Toledo (I can't say I recommend it for a lengthy stay), probably 50% of the eateries put fresh, warm pita bread on the table where you'd normally find a boring loaf of bread. This is another thing most restaurants should start adopting. Right away. Anyhow, the salad was comprised of some kick-ass falafel, fresh cukes, tomatoes and radishes - and as you can see, covered in parsley. It was so good, I didn't even miss the meat. They also have a few Turkish/Greek wines on their list that I may have enjoyed one or a handful of.      6/5


Empire Restaurant - Oregon
Just don't eat here. Really. Just don't. You're welcome.

Tony Packo's - Original Location
A Toledo institution (of the food variety, not mental).

 It was explained very basically to me, and delivered on what was promised - coneys with a split sausage instead of a hot dog. The side of paprikash I got left a lot to be desired, but the dog and sauce were great.     3.5/5


Poco Piatti
Super legit tapas. Meat lollies!!!

The great sangria, beer selection and chorizo tacos didn't hurt, either. Nifty little place, with nifty little plates.
And again, with the fresh pita on the table. 4.5/5

I really need to post this before I forget the recipe myself.  I'm a big fan of getting an idea for something and running with it, as well as making a soup out of whatever is in the fridge and pantry. In light of that, I give you this incredibly easy and inexpensive weeknight soup that tastes slow-cooked, but isn't. Sorry, guys - I'll take a photo next time!

Smoked Sausage Tortellini Soup

2-3 cloves minced garlic
1/2 onion, chopped
1/2 link turkey smoked sausage (fully cooked), cut in rounds, then in half again
1 32 oz carton chicken broth
1 can fire-roasted diced tomatoes
1/2 cup shredded carrots
1 can great northern beans (or cannellini beans, if you prefer)
1 cup fresh spinach, roughly chopped
1 pkg cheese-filled tortellini*

* I used the fresher, refrigerated variety-  like Buitoni. If you don't care for this, can't find it or already have the dried stuff, just par-boil if beforehand. 

Heat a little olive oil in a stock pot and start sauteing your onions, carrots and garlic, then toss in your chopped sausage to brown up a bit, then your tomatoes and beans and cook for another 5 minutes.  Add all of the chicken broth and bring to a boil, then reduce to a simmer for about 20 minutes. Add your chopped spinach and let it wilt for about 2-3 minutes, then add your tortellini and let it cook for about 5-10 more - but make sure the pasta doesn't cook so long that it explodes or gets mushy.  Slow and low!  Toss a little shredded Parmesan on the finished product, and serve with some crusty bread and a salad.  You're welcome.

I don't have very much time to create OR post my own recipes lately, but for the love of all that delicious, make this soup.  Why don't more recipes contain a component called "cheesy yum?"
 I used cavatappi pasta and cooked it separately because I hate mushy pasta and wanted the opportunity to freeze leftovers (which there are never any of).  Although it gives me radiating heartburn, it's worth it.  I actually daydream about this soup, and crave it at least once every week or so. Honest to goodness, one of the best things I've ever eaten.

Last weekend, some friends of ours were nice enough to slide us part of their bounty of Brio coupons so we could both get sitters and go out for a nice, adult dinner.  As most of you know, The Greene is incredibly successful in making my blood pressure go through the roof, so I rarely go there for food or commerce.  When we want to drop a bill on dinner, we usually don't go to a chain, either.  We usually end up at figlio or Barnsider, something on the high end of local eateries.

I did a little research and it was looking like Brio actually makes their own pasta, which actually makes it worth me ordering pasta. If the restaurant is dropping some dehydrated noodles into boiling water, that's not worth me spending the better part of my evening in the john.  Since we were able to stack these $20 coupons, we spared no expense and ordered cocktails, appetizers, dinner and dessert.  The boys had calamari, and ginger and I had the spinach-artichoke dip.  It wasn't earth shattering, but it was tasty.  The parmesan crisps they served alongside for dipping were actually the best part.  My raspberry mojito was pleasantly boozy, speckled with freshly muddled mint and fresh berries.

Mr. FvF ordered the Lasagna Bolognese al Forno, Gin had the artichoke-crusted beef medallions, Matt had the lamb chops, and I chose Fettucine Napoli.  None of the pictures turned out that great except for my dish (natch) and the dessert.  Eating this pasta, regardless of later intestinal distress, was 100% worth it.  Smoked chicken, pancetta, broccoli, sundried tomatoes and chili flake in an oil & white wine reduction.  It was perfect in every way, really.  Not a damn thing I'd have done differently.  I stopped myself just short of exhausting myself with it since I wanted dessert, and took the rest home to Ma FvF to thank for watching the babe.  I snagged a bite of Mr. FvF's lasagna, which was good - but something was amiss for me.  He referred to it as a "windbreaker of cheese and meat," and loved it, but agreed that it wasn't quite what we normally think of as lasagna.  Now, let me clarify that I don't have Stouffer's in mind when I think good lasagna bolognese.  Mine is fairly labor intensive, and is basically this.  But, I except lasagna to have a certain construction.  This came plated in a way that felt too individual.  In other words, I think it was assembled in the dish, then maybe baked for 10 minutes.  I didn't pick up the richness in their bolognese and it sure didn't seem like this "slice" had spent an hour in the oven, letting all of its flavors mingle.

The boys had tiny red velvet cake desserts, and the gals split a molten chocolate cake, which was delightful.  It's a simple dessert, but not all that simple in making, so these little cakes often go underappreciated.

• 
  
• 2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
• 4 tablespoons butter
• 2/3 lb lean ground beef (or lamb)
• 2/3 lb hot Italian sausage
• 2/3 lb sweet Italian sausage
• 1 large onion, finely chopped (about 1 1/2 cups)
• 1 carrot, peeled, and cut into 1/4-inch dice (about 1 cup)
• 1 rib of celery, finely diced
• 4 cloves garlic, minced
• 1/4 cup fresh sage leaves, finely chopped
• large pinch red pepper flakes (optional)
• 1 (28-ounce) can crushed Italian plum tomatoes
• 1 1/2 cups dry red wine (I used pinot noir)
• 1 C whole milk 
• 2 C chicken stock
• 2 bay leaves
• 1/2 cup heavy cream
• Salt and freshly ground black pepper
• 1 tbsp minced basil 
• For the ricotta mixture:
• 2 C fresh ricotta*
• Salt and freshly ground black pepper
• 2 large eggs
• 1 tsp minced basil (fresh)
• 1 tbsp minced oregano (fresh)

The Mister got some kind of Pork Milanese with cheese tortelloni.  I think sometimes Olive Garden doesn't look up the meanings of words before they use them, because tortelloni is supposed to be a giant, beastly version or tortellini.  These suckers were about the size of a silver dollar.  I won't even get started on the ridiculous words they make up for their half-assed, unoriginal recipes.  

Mr. FvF and I have been trying to eat fairly healthy at lunch and dinner to combat all the other carb-o-riffic holiday treats that are finding their way into our faces. Last week, I was craving Italian - specifically, something swimming in a rich bolognese. Other than piling on pasta, there aren't tons of options. Then, I came across a South Beach dieter's blog with a recipe that used zucchini and squash as vessels for fillings, the same way I do my stuffed shells. Then I slapped myself for not thinking of that on my own. I started to choke myself, then I remembered that I'm not Rob Schneider. Even I was skeptical, and I was almost sure the husband wouldn't dig this, but it turned out surprisingly kick ass. Here's what you'll need:

Last week, the Mister had to go to the Dayton School of Advertising Art and talk to some folks about how he uses Adobe to create some of his fabulous comic art. Naturally, I took the opportunity to make something he'd never dream of eating, then watch some x-rated movies.

This was one of my favorite dishes to make as a single gal, and I realized I hadn't eaten it since he moved in. I should note that I wouldn't know shit about making fancy pasta dishes if it weren't for my friend Billiam. I would have never attempted to make my own sauces before seeing him make it look so effortless.

Here's what you'll need (serves 1-2):

long, thin pasta of your choice, cooked al dente (I used whole wheat linguine)
3 sliced of bacon, chopped and cooked
1 cup fresh spinach, chopped coarsely
1/4 - 1/2 C chopped yellow onion
2 gloves garlic, minced
1 tomato (I used roma), diced
1/2 C white wine (I used pinot grigiot)
1/2 C half & half or heavy cream
parmesan cheese (at least 1/3 C)
olive oil

Start some olive oil in a sautee pan over medium heat.* Once it's fast in the pan, add your onions and garlic, but careful not to scorch the garlic (you will never know a more awful smell or taste). Cook those down until the onions begin to get soft & translucent, then add your tomatoes and a tablespoon or two of the white wine. Reduce the heat and let the tomatoes start to release their juices and cook down, then add the bacon & spinach. Simmer for 2-3 more minutes.

Once everything is looking beautiful and smelling groovy, start to add the rest of the wine and let it warm up with the veggies, then add a bit of grated parm and a few pinches of salt. Once it's all the same temp, start slowly stirring in your cream and bring the heat up to just below medium. Add the cream slowly so that you know when you've got enough. This will always cook a bit differently, so sometimes you don't need the whole 1/2 cup. The sauce should start to thicken, and once it does, adjust the heat back to low. Let is simmer for just a few more minutes, then add some more grated cheese and your cooked pasta, and toss it all together. Also, do yourself a favor and get a nice brick of aged parmesan instead of using that powdered shit that comes in the green canister. The stuff keeps forever!


*If you cooked your bacon in the same pan, it's perfectly okay to leave some of the droppings there. Just makes it taste better!

Remember the super delicious Tuscan wedding soup that I created last month? Well, Mr. FvF liked it so much that I made it again already. We didn't have anyone over to share it with when I made it Monday, so it yielded a good 2-3 bowls of leftovers to be had later in the week.
I decided to pull a Billiam (a friend of mine who is terribly artistic when it comes to recreating leftovers) and turn it into yet another soup. I wish I could take credit for the name, but that one was all Mr. FvF.

After a good while spent scouring the webbernets, I was disappointed to see that no one had advice on turning a broth-based soup into a cream-based soup. Don't worry your pretty little head, because your good pal Food vs. Face does!

The leftovers will soak up a lot of the chicken broth in the fridge, so you'll need one more can. Dump the soup into a Dutch oven or stock pot, turn the head to about medium-low and start reheating, adding about 3/4 of the can of broth. Add about 1/4 cup heavy cream to the soup as well.

In a sauce pan, boil a couple of coarsely diced red potatoes until fork tender.

In another sauce pan, bring the remaining 1/4 can of broth and about 3/4 cup of heavy cream to a low boil. Sift a couple tablespoons (3-4ish) of A/P flour into the mix and begin whisking. Add about 1/2 cup of shredded cheese (I used a softer parm and mozzarella mix) and keep whisking. Continue cooking until the consistency resembles that of a cream-based soup you'd buy in the store. You can add more cream or flour (and maybe some butter) to thin or thicken the roux. Make sure all of the lumps are out!

Drain the diced potatoes and add to the soup, then add the roux that you've made. Turn the heat to low on the soup and stir until everything is combined well.




This is very, very similar to Olive Garden's Zuppa Toscana soup, except it tastes good and isn't served to you by someone working on their GED who pronounces "merlot" phonetically.

I'd just recently heard tell of a little place called Pie Pizzeria, thanks to an ad my friend showed me, where the place was very clearly calling Cousin Vinny's bluff on their late night eats lockdown. Let it be known that Food vs. Face is no stranger to Cousin Vinny's, and I've eaten just as many times sober as I have, uh...not sober. And it's good pizza. It's not spectacular, but it's good, cheap, and they'll deliver until 4 a.m. I hate to be the one to tell you this, and Vinny's - I'm so, so sorry - but there's a new sheriff in town, and that sheriff's name is Pie Pizzeria.

My friend Melanie who showed me the aforementioned ad raved about the pizza, and drooled over their 8 pound stuffed pie, the Fughetaboutit. Their online menu doesn't seem to have as much info as the print one I saw, but it's enough info to make an order. It also boasts the "Bigger 10," which is a 16" 1 topping pizza, 8 breadsticks and 2 cans of soda.

After spending all day cooking in the sun at a family reunion yesterday, my sister, myself and our beaus decided no one wanted to stand around in a hot kitchen and cook, and that this would be the prime time to try the new joint. So, we ordered the Bigger 10 and an additional large pie. Note: It should be mentioned that these photos were taken of reheated pizza. The ones taken last night came out with the big-foot effect again.


I should also note that we have nearly 12" dinner plates and the breadsticks still hung over the side. I've honestly never seen breadsticks this gigantor, and to boot - they were delicious. I have to admit, I have a soft spot for Cousin Vinny's breadsticks (cheese dust and cheese sauce...om nom nom). So, Pie hasn't yet won the breadstick battle with me.

But the pizza, now that's a different story. As far as delivery goes, this is probably some of the best pie I've ever had. I never order from large chains like Domino's, but this is far better than CV's, LaRosa's, Sarpino's and maybe Corleone's. The tops of the crust (same as the breadsticks) have a parmesan-herb dusting that's divine. I'm not sure if they make their own sauce, but it's in the same category as Troni's marinara, which is saying a lot. Not too sweet, not overly salty or acidic. The crust itself is great, and almost pastry-like in its density. A lot can also be said for the perfect amount of cheese. It's not triple bypass cheese like Pizza Hut, but also not the "Hey, we perpetually just ran out of cheese while making your pizza" that Dayton-style 'za typically sports. I can't say a lot for the toppings, because we got 1 pepperoni and another pepperoni with green peppers, but I doubt they disappoint when it comes to the easy stuff.

Their specialty pies are a bit steep, but I'm sure I'll try them eventually (I'm looking at you, Bronx BBQ). But, the Bigger 10 is a great deal and somehow this stuff fills you up faster than the original Big 10 from Vinny's. Two of the biggest eaters I know (Meestor Seestor and Mr. FvF) couldn't polish off a large between the two of them, let alone by themselves. We had about 3/4 of a pie left and a few breadsticks left.

Considering their small staff and relative newness (they opened in November), delivery didn't take any longer than expected on a Saturday night - about 40 minutes, which was the estimate I was given on the phone.

My gal pal Ginger owed herself a ladies day out, which turned into a shopping excursion with me on the hunt for a gaudy dress for my dirty thirty party. Everyone knows that ladies lunch, but broads and bitches prefer to brunch. So, we hit the new-ish Bravo just outside the Dayton Mall and figured we'd give it a whirl. It took us a while to decide, since we had brunch, lunch and dinner menus to choose from. But, our handsome and attentive server brought me a peach Bellini and Gin a Bloody Mary while we perused. Let's not forget the mini loaves of warm, rosemary bread they bring out with the infused oil that I'd probably drink from a bottle like a hobo sipping on Thunderbird wine.

Gin decided on the Grilled chicken salad, and opted for the entree size, since the lunch portion seemed too small. Also, we had BIG hongries.
Her salad came out looking lot bigger then she'd planned, as did my food, so it was perfect sitting & chatting food while we picked away at it.

I chose the Omelet of the day - spinach, fresh tomatoes, feta cheese, caramelized onions, asparagus, to which I of course added bacon. I was so excited to see that it came with fresh fruit. I was rushing through my Bellini so far that I didn't even spy that on the menu.
Dad, please don't get upset when I say this is the best omelet I've ever had. It was on an entirely different place then Pa FvF's omelets, which are usually stuffed which things not nearly as good for you, but are an absolute staple in my comfort food repertoire. The eggs were just the fluffiest I'd ever had, and filled to the brim with bright flavors and balanced out by the sweetness and smokiness of the bacon and onions. And the big winner - NO damn Hollandaise sauce. Put it on your fries or something, because it doesn't belong on an omelet like this (bob Evans, I'm looking in your direction). To boot, the fruit selection was all ripe and in season. I ate everything but the blueberries, which I knew would stain my teeth and make for an awful trip to the MAC counter later.

Considering prices rising all over the place on menus, this was quite a bargain. The bread, the omelet, the fruit and the Bellini only came to about $16. Minus the cocktail, you're looking at about a $10 tab, which you won't even beat at Bob Evans these days. The priciest thing on Bravo's brunch menu is only $13.99, and that's the Bistecca Benedict - "two poached eggs served atop beef tenderloin medallions and Romano crusted tomatoes with Hollandaise sauce. Served with breakfast potatoes." Sounds like some local restaurateurs need to up their game and get in on this brunch menu. Come on, even Baptists are out of bed by 10 a.m. If you know of any other local spots serving brunch, let a gal know!

I was always pretty spoiled as a kid, having very resourceful parents who could cook up a storm. I never had store-bought soup, beans, or preserves until I moved out after high school. As anyone else who's been this privileged and spoiled will tell you, your first can of of soup or jar of jam is a severely rude awakening. Nobody makes it like mom does. If you're smart, you'll learn to make it like mom does, from scratch. I've pretty much mastered all of those homemade soups that I crave by now - from Pa FvF's chili to Ma FvF's devilishly rich and creamy potato soup. I figured it's time to make my own soup from scratch with no recipe and no help. I wanted something involving cannelini beans, spinach and sweet sausage, and probably some tiny pasta for the Mister. It's a lot like Italian Wedding soup, with the addition of white beans and using straight sausage instead of meatballs. Hence, Tuscan Wedding Soup. Here's what you'll need:

1 lb sweet (or mild or hot, if you prefer) Italian sausage*
2 cups chopped spinach**
1 yellow onion, finely diced
3 cloves minced garlic
1 32 oz carton chicken broth
1 tsp oregano
1 tsp basil
1/2 tsp dried rosemary
1 tbsp salt
1/2 tsp cracked black pepper
2 cups small pasta (I used shells), cooked and drained
*I used links and cut them up, but you could just as easily used bulk and crumble it.
** Use fresh, not frozen. You can thank me later.

Cook your sausages however you normally cook them. I added about 1/4 inch of water to a dutch oven and let them brown for about 15 minutes over medium heat, then sliced'em up. Add a little olive oil to a small stock pot over medium heat, then add your onions and garlic. Once they start to soften, add the chopped spinach and beans, then throw the sausage back in the last few minutes to get it a nice, rustic brown. Plus, the fat will help the veggies cook down. Add all of your chicken broth, then seasonings and give it a good stir. Bring it to a near-boil, then back down to simmer and let it simmer for at least one hour. Add your cooked pasta and let it all come to temperature, then you're all set. Like most soups, the longer you can let it simmer, the better the flavor will be.

I don't mind patting myself on the back here, this was fantastic. Even for all the veggies in it, it got a 9 out of 10 from Mr. FvF - an esteemed list which normally only includes steak and stromboli. I topped it with an asiago-romano-parm blend, but it's absolutely fine on it's own. Also, if I had it to do over, I think I might go with a harder, aged parmesan.

In another episode of FLIP MODE, I bring you stuffed shells. What's flip mode about stuffed shells, you might ask? Well, most people mix the meat into the sauce and serve it atop or with the shells. I decided to cut down in the ricotta in the filling and replace it with Italian sausage. Here's what you'll need.

1 cup ricotta cheese
1/2 cup mozzarella
3 garlic cloves, minced or pressed
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp black pepper
1/4 cup chopped fresh spinach
1 lb Italian sausage, cooked and crumbled
16-20 jumbo shells (about 1/2 pkg), boiled and drained
2 cups marinara sauce, purchased or homemade

Cook and crumble your sausage while the shells are boiling. Add plenty of olive oil to the water the shells are in, so they don't stick and tear open. Mix the first six ingredients together well, then add your cooked sausage and give it another good mix. Preheat your oven to 350 and line the bottom of a 9x13" pan with a little bit of the marinara so the shells don't stick. Fill each shell with just shy if 1/4 cup of the sausage-cheese mixture and place into the pan. Once they're all filled, cover with the remaining marinara sauce and sprinkle with about another 1/4 cup of mozzarella. Bake for about 30 minutes, or until the internal temp reads at least 140ish.

A week or so ago, the Mister and I headed to Trader Joe's, specifically for their wheat pizza dough. We ended up grabbing a few other things, too, and I know you're dying to know what I thought of them.


Peanut Satay Sauce - Meh. It's not exactly what I was looking for - too salty or too much soy sauce. But, I did use a few tablespoons to perfect the already great peanut sauce recipe I've been making.

Trader Giotto's Classic Marinara - Fantastic. Only about $2 per jar, and aperfect accompaniment for things like calzones, stromboli and bread sticks. A little Italian place in Kettering has some of the best red sauce I've ever had, and this is pretty comparable.

Chicken Mai Shu - EW. Just, ew. I fixed up half the box, by the box's microwave-only instructions. The flavor was so-so, but the texture was gnarly. I'm going to try the microwave steam again then toss them in a pan to crisp up and see if the other half turns out better that way.

Pepperoni - I don't remember the brand name, but it was the best pre-packages pepperoni I've tasted. Lean, not greasy, and great flavor.

Wheat Pizza Dough - At only 99 cents a bag, I'm going to go back and clean them out of this stuff. Some wheat dough tends to be too sweet for it's own good, but this was as close to perfect as it's going to get without making it yourself.

Sunday meals are a thing of decadence and gluttony in my family, and this didn't change once I built my own little nest. There's none of that popcorn for dinner or eat-whatever's-around mess. It's a big to do - even if you go out for a meal on a Sunday, it has to measure up. Yesterday we celebrated our anniversary, yet again, with food. I picked up some great looking pepperoni and whole wheat pizza dough at Trader Joe's (more to come on that tip later) and already had the rest of the set-up. Here's what you'll need for making two strombolis the size of your arm, or four reasonably-sized portions.

Pizza Dough*
2 cups mozzarella cheese
1 pkg pepperoni, about a cup
2-3 Italian sausage links, cooked and cut into coins
1/2 C fresh baby spinach
2 cloves minced garlic
olive oil
red pepper flakes

*Trader Joe's pizza dough is a hell of a deal for 99 cents per bag, and it freezes well, too.

Preheat the oven to 350 and get all of your fillings ready to go before you start with the dough. Also, make sure you let the dough sit at room temp for about 20 minutes first. This makes it a lot easier to work with.
Once it's closer to room temp, flour either a cutting board or a clean counter top very well. Stretch the dough first with your hands by using a method I call the steering wheel, where you work the dough with both hands on a circular motion like you're making a sharp turn. You don't have to literally stretch it, it will just start to stretch itself. Once you have it thinned out a bit, use a floured rolling pin and roll it out on the cutting board to get it as thin as you'd like. Once you're there, cut it into as many rectangles as you'll need for the size you're making.

I found it's best to start with smaller ingredients, then go bigger towards the top. So, first put down a little olive oil, red pepper flakes and garlic, then pile on the spinach, pepperoni, Italian sausage and cheese - all close to one side. Take the blank side of dough and fold it over the stuffing, making a seam on the other side. If you're not convinced it won't fall apart, press the edges with a fork like you would a turnover or pocket pie to seal it. Cut a 1" slit in the top of the dough about every 2" so it doesn't essplode in the oven. Brush the top with a little olive oil (or egg wash, if you're going more for looks than flavor) and season it with some garlic powder and rosemary. If you've got cornmeal on hand, you can also dust the bottom of the stromboli with that to add texture - a lot of pizza joints do that.

Bake at 350 for 15-20 minutes or until the crust doesn't give when you tap it. I felt it was missing something, so I made some herbed garlic butter to drizzle over the tops before serving.
Needless to say, this was the kind of meal that reassured Mr. FvF that he's marrying up.

Time for another one of Mr. FvF's favorites! I think this was the first meal I ever cooked for him and it became a regular, then I realized I hadn't made it since starting the blog. His solution? Well, he says I can't keep these things from my readers. Olive Garden thought they were pioneering some shit when they put these on the market earlier this year, but good ol' Betty Crocker taught me how to make them over two years ago. Besides, Olive Garden is basically the Dane Cook of Italian food, just recycling shit someone else came up with and calling it their own, and even worse - pretending it's innovative. Different shaped raviolis?! What will they think of next?


Lasagna Roll-ups
6 whole wheat lasagna noodles
1 15 oz container ricotta cheese
1 cup mozzarella cheese
1/4 cup parmesan-reggiano blend
1 10 oz box frozen spinach, thawed and drained
1 tsp salt
1/4 tsp fresh ground pepper
Cheater Bolognese:
1.5 jars of your favorite spaghetti sauce
1 lb bulk/ground Italian sausage


Always boil your noodles first (in well-salted water with some olive oil), so you can drain them and give them time to cool before you have to handle them. It's never a bad idea to cook up to 10 of them for this recipe, as they often tear when rinsing or stick to the stock pot when cooking This way you'll have spares.

Next, it's time to make your sauce - brown & drain the sausage, then add your jarred sauce. I make a mean homemade sauce, but the Mister isn't big on chucks of veggies in his sauce, so I succumb to culinary failure and improvise. anyhow, it doesn't have to be hot-hot, just warm up the sauce over the remaining heat and spread into the bottom of a 9x13" pan.

Finally, mix up all of the middle ingredients (cheeses, salt, pepper, spinach) and spoon about 1/4 cup onto each noodle and roll it up. Once your roll is secured, use either a very sharp knife or a serrated knife to cut it width-wise down the middle of the roll, so you have two pieces, each with a crowned edge. Nestle each roll into the sauce and bake for 20-30 minutes at around 350 degrees.

As you can see, this produces something much more aesthetically appealing than traditional lasagna, and tastes just as good - if not better.