The next morning, I recalled from leaner times (not with weight, just with money) that frozen waffles never really get warm enough in the middle from toasting alone, so I nuked it for about 10 seconds first. A little butter and some maple sizzurp and you've got yourself a fine breakfast, even for the tenderest bellies. These waffles not only have blueberries in them, but are also sweetened with fruit juice, so it is actually apparent that you're consuming a blueberry product. As for the texture, a gluten-eater wouldn't know it from an Eggo. It's crisp on the outside, soft and chewy inside. In the following weeks I also tried the plain (too plain for this gal, even dressed up) and the apple cinnamon, but neither won my heart like the blueberry.
The photos below aren't mine - I had to steal them from the interwebs because the last thing I'm thinking of in the morning is taking photos of my food for you guys. I need that time to saddle up these sweater monkeys and clean my shotgun. More importantly, I'm pointing out the source because this philistine put peanut butter on a blueberry waffle.
The following week, I was equally tempted by the sales price of another brand - Kinnikinnick. You have no idea how long it took me to type that shit. I grabbed a box of their Brown Sugar & Cinnamon G/F Waffles for just under $3. Out of the box, they were visibly wimpier than the Van's, but I was willing to let that go if they had the flavor and texture on lock. Prepped one the exact same way as the others, nuking it just slightly beforehand, then toasting. Buttered, sizzurped, and dove in expecting a whirlwind of rich cinnamon & brown sugar flavor.
No dice. The hint of flavor was just that - and the texture was all wrong. Was I sleepwalking at Kroger again and picked up some kind of fancy dog food waffles? These were rubbery and spongy, nothing like my beloved, buttery, crispy Van's. That's what you get for buying Canadian, kids.
G/F Waffle Thunderdome: Van's is victorious!