Last week, the Mister had to go to the Dayton School of Advertising Art and talk to some folks about how he uses Adobe to create some of his fabulous comic art. Naturally, I took the opportunity to make something he'd never dream of eating, then watch some x-rated movies.

This was one of my favorite dishes to make as a single gal, and I realized I hadn't eaten it since he moved in. I should note that I wouldn't know shit about making fancy pasta dishes if it weren't for my friend Billiam. I would have never attempted to make my own sauces before seeing him make it look so effortless.

Here's what you'll need (serves 1-2):

long, thin pasta of your choice, cooked al dente (I used whole wheat linguine)
3 sliced of bacon, chopped and cooked
1 cup fresh spinach, chopped coarsely
1/4 - 1/2 C chopped yellow onion
2 gloves garlic, minced
1 tomato (I used roma), diced
1/2 C white wine (I used pinot grigiot)
1/2 C half & half or heavy cream
parmesan cheese (at least 1/3 C)
olive oil

Start some olive oil in a sautee pan over medium heat.* Once it's fast in the pan, add your onions and garlic, but careful not to scorch the garlic (you will never know a more awful smell or taste). Cook those down until the onions begin to get soft & translucent, then add your tomatoes and a tablespoon or two of the white wine. Reduce the heat and let the tomatoes start to release their juices and cook down, then add the bacon & spinach. Simmer for 2-3 more minutes.

Once everything is looking beautiful and smelling groovy, start to add the rest of the wine and let it warm up with the veggies, then add a bit of grated parm and a few pinches of salt. Once it's all the same temp, start slowly stirring in your cream and bring the heat up to just below medium. Add the cream slowly so that you know when you've got enough. This will always cook a bit differently, so sometimes you don't need the whole 1/2 cup. The sauce should start to thicken, and once it does, adjust the heat back to low. Let is simmer for just a few more minutes, then add some more grated cheese and your cooked pasta, and toss it all together. Also, do yourself a favor and get a nice brick of aged parmesan instead of using that powdered shit that comes in the green canister. The stuff keeps forever!


*If you cooked your bacon in the same pan, it's perfectly okay to leave some of the droppings there. Just makes it taste better!

Cheese, wine, butter and cream. Those words should send anyone's heart a-flutter, if for no other reason than artery-hardening palpitations. They'll also help a gal gain the necessary pounds that she may have mysteriously lost, days after being told not to have any weight fluctuations in order for her wedding dress to fit perfectly. A note to all brides starving to get into their dresses: NYAH-NYAH!

2 boneless chicken breast halves
2 slices honey bourbon ham
2 slices swiss cheese
1/2 C a/p flour
1 tsp smoked paprika
1/2 tsp salt
6 tbsp butter
1 tsp chicken bullion
1/2 C white wine
1 tbsp cornstarch
1 C half & half (or heavy cream)

Pound out the chicken breasts until they're a uniform thickness, usually about 1/4". This helps everything cook evenly. Lay them out flat and put one slice of ham and one slice of cheese on each, and roll them up (almost like a burrito) until the fillings aren't visible and secure with toothpicks.

Get a covered skillet warming on medium-high heat while you do this next step. In a small bowl, mix together the flour, salt & paprika and tumble the bundles in it until they're coated on all sides. Now, melt your 6 tbsp of butter in the skillet and once it's all melty, place your chicken bundles in. Cook uncovered for about 3 minutes on each side until they're completely browned, then add the wine and bullion, move heat to low and cover. Let it simmer for about 20-25 minutes (more if the chicken was thicker than 1/4").

Transfer the chicken to its plating destination and get started on the cream sauce. Mix the cream & cornstarch and slowly whisk it into the skillet with the remaining liquid. You may also want to dial up the heat a bit to help the thickening process. Continue whisking until it's the consistency of a thin gravy and ladle it over the chicken.

I realized all too late that a cross-section would have made a much prettier picture, but we had big hongries. So, you'll have to take my word for it that it was magically delicious.

Last night, all I had on hand to make for dinner was your standard meat & two veg. I knew I was making green beans and broasted rosemary red potatoes, but the Italian marinated chicken I'd thawed out from Dot's Market left a little something to be desired. As I was enjoying a glass of Riesling, I wondered what I should do to make it more appealing. Now is the part where you picture little monkeys driving Shriner cars around in circles to illustrate what goes on inside my head when I think really hard.


White wine cream sauce!

I've never been an ace at cream sauces, but I figured it couldn't hurt to try. I took about 3/4 cup of the wine and deglazed the pan I cooked the chicken in, then added about 1/2 cup of heavy cream, a tablespoon or two of flour, a teaspoon of salt and some parmesan cheese, cracked pepper and herbs. Cooked it down and whisked continuously until it came to a light boil, then reduced it to a simmer for just a couple of minutes. Viola! The shit was delicious.



You'll have to excuse the lack of food-porn quality in the photo. I'd mistakenly left it on the wrong setting from some earlier photos. Yes, occasionally, I use my camera to take photos of things not edible.