Monday, December 13, 2010

Food vs Face-Off: Fast Food Breakfast Challenge

Two different hangovers, two different (and new) fast food breakfasts. Which will prevail? Allow me to escort you through the calorie-laden Thunderdome that is our first fast food challenge.
Let's travel back a few weeks. I wasn't quite hungover, because I didn't exactly wake up sober. I had pies to bake and didn't want to ruin Thanksgiving, so Mr. FvF was nice enough to go get me breakfast. Taco Bell was the only place open, so it was as good a time as any to try their new breakfast menu. We couldn't find the menu anywhere online, since this is apparently regional (yay test market!) - so I just told him to order one of anything that sounded good, and we'd have ourselves a pig-out.

First, the Skillet Burrito. Or, as I called it, the answer to all of my prayers. Scrambled eggs, sausage, fiesta potatoes and cheese, all swimming in gravy and wrapped up in a tortilla. I'm normally a bit weirdy about fast food eggs, but these were fluffy, even if they were undoubtedly frozen. Did I mention it's covered in gravy? It was like a coronary bypass wrapped in paper, and it was delicious.

Next up, the Steak & Egg Burrito. Not too shabby. Mr. FvF loved this one. I thought it was pretty okay, considering the thought of "steak" from Taco Bell probably comes from the same place as the Mongolian Beef at New China. It did have a nice smoky sauce, though.

The Jimmy Dean Morning Wrap. A sausage patty, cheese and again with the fluffy eggs. Not impressive, but not gross.
Of course, no fast food breakfast would be complete without something sugary-sweet and made with plenty of lard. Enter, Cinnabon Delights! A bready little concoction, filled with Cinnabon's famous "hot jizz" icing and rolled in cinnamon and sugar. Nothing like Cinnabon, otherwise, though - mostly a donut hole with ooze in the middle. They were pretty delightful, but I was beginning to toe that delicate line of how much you can eat when you're drunk or hungover without horking.

Fast forward to the day after our "company Christmas party." Neither of our companies give enough shits to throw a holiday party for their employees, or they decide that going bowling in an abandoned church camp with no music or prizes and serving jail food would be SO fun. So, we have one of our own, which consists of going to Shag's and watching a costumed Santa drown his sorrows in High Life and talk to hookers.

Mr. FvF promised me another fast food breakfast if I didn't make him stay at the bar until closing time. We had Taco Bell breakfast last week and even my beloved Skillet Burrito didn't agree with me, so it was time for a change. I haven't seen tons of advertising for it, but knew Burger King had some new items on their breakfast menu. Unlike Taco Bell, BK seems to have rolled out their new items nationwide, so you can view the menu on their website.

The Mister stuck with his ol' standby of Bacon, Egg & Cheese Croissan'wiches, but I opted for one of the new offerings - the Breakfast Ciabatta Club Sandwich. Whole grain ciabatta, smoked ham, bacon, tomatoes, cheese, eggs and smoky tomato sauce.

Surprisingly, it actually lived up to what I had imagined. The eggs weren't exactly scrambled, but more like a patty. Yet, not like McDonald's gross, hard and slimy egg patty. I took the first bite with egg for the full effect, expecting to yank them off after that. But, they were pretty passive except for adding some girth to the sandwich. The bacon needed a little help, but BK's bacon has always suffered a bit in that department. The tomatoes were good (season considered), the ham was good, the bread was ciabatta-like for fast food, but not authentic in the sense that you could barely bite through it and it tears up your mouth. The "smoky tomato sauce" wasn't very tomato-y, but it was incredibly tasty and took this Club up another notch. If anything, it reminds me most of ranch dressing and hot sauce, maybe with some smoke flavor.

We also got hash browns, which at BK are tots. I still curse their name for taking away cheesy tots, because their regular ones just don't measure up. I'm sure they might be okay right out of the fryer, but I can never seem to make a sweet score like that. But, if I can have this sandwich, I don't need their damn tots.

All things considered, I liked BK's better. Taco Bell's was certainly better than I was expecting, and I'm sure I'll eat it again at some point. But as far as actual flavor, quality and crave-ability, I'll stick with BK. I've never been a huge fan of the breakfast burrito, and I like a lot of textural differences in my food. So, TB's "everything soft inside a soft wrapper!" just isn't what gets my goat. I only have fast food breakfasts once in a blue moon (obviously, more often around the holidays), so this isn't like choosing the best fast food burger. It'll really come down to what you like.


malpertuis said...

OH MY GOD! I wanna get drunk and eat the Steak & Egg Burrito. nomE!

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