Thursday, November 11, 2010

The Pub - Beavercreek, Ohio

I love my friends SO much that I'll let them make me go to the same shitty place more than once. I like to think that placed in a similar situation, they would do the same for me. I've never decided to go to The Greene, Dayton's fancy outdoor walk-around mall, on my own. Aside from trekking out there to meet one of my favorite authors, my visits have always been at at least somewhat at another person's request or invite.

You see, the first time I went to the Greene, something weird, embarrassing, and life-alteringly shitty happened there. I'm not going to go into detail, but let's just say I think of it as my personal Vietnam. So naturally, I don't like the place too much. Besides, although I love commerce, places like this exemplify my hate part of our love/hate relationship. The food options are really not much more impressive than your regular indoor mall eating options, they're just far more overpriced. They all have $10+ appetizers and outdoor patios and verandas, and if you're a smoker, everyone looks at you like you're eating a live baby. It's all your standard fare of Brios and P.F. Chang's, occasionally a chain restaurant masquerading as an independent, but their decor and prices aren't fooling anyone. Then of course, there are your Fleming's and McCormick and Schmick's, where you don't even know if you're ordering up, because there aren't always prices on the menu. Oh, then there's this nest of turds called The Pub. Not to be confused with Dayton's original and independent Dublin Pub, which happens to have delicious food, stellar service and a staff who know a it's a dick move to review an Irish pub based on ordering the fucking filet. They have steak on the menu at Denny's, too - but that doesn't mean you should order it and base your opinion of their food as a whole on an item that's clearly not within their realm of expertise - but, I digress.

Back to my original point that one of my best gals craves the curry fries at The Pub. I'd never had them, or even seen them - but I assumed they must be worth the trip. This day was all about her, and I made sure to eat a decent lunch so that I wouldn't order much there. I ordered the Cheese Bollocks, large balls of mozzarella, beer battered and deep fried.

Of course I want to say they were terrible, but they really weren't. The batter was on the bland side, but it's still beer batter, filled with melty cheese. Gin got the fries and their soup of the day, corn chowder, which she just said "tasted weird."

I started to post a photo of her curry fries, but frankly, it's not even worth the effort. They're frozen, Oreida-variety, bland, dusted with sea salt and served with red and yellow curry. Granted, the curry is tasty - but by no means worth spending two hours in this place. Why did eating some side items take two hours, you ask? Well, if you're not a dude looking at drool over some almost-bare ass, the waitresses treat you as such. They assume if you're not DTF, you'll be a shitty tipper, so they don't really waste their time. Getting drink refills and putting our orders in took embarrassingly long, and getting our checks felt like it took longer than waiting for the results of your AIDS test. Not only have I done my friend duty by going to this place twice, but I'm going to learn how to make the curry sauces so she never has to waste her money in there again, either.

1 out of 5 sporks
Pub on Urbanspoon


Anonymous said...

my god you're a miserable c**t aren't you...

Vizz said...

If you're phrasing a question, you may want to try using the correct punctuation at the end to indicate as such.

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